Venting CTB Attempt Cancelled

[persepexa]

First of all thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post. I was planning to CTB tonight but after careful consideration I have decided I just couldn't do it to my family. It would destroy them. So I'm back to square one. No money, no job, no friends. But we'll see. I'm just so unhappy.

 

[LastAcrobat]

You have family, you have us, and you have your life. That's a place to start from. Even if it isn't much, anything is infinitely larger than 0.

 

[MaxStirner]

First of all thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post. I was planning to CTB tonight but after careful consideration I have decided I just couldn't do it to my family. It would destroy them. So I'm back to square one. No money, no job, no friends. But we'll see. I'm just so unhappy.

The choice to ctb is entirely yours. If you, for the reason listed, want to continue going, that's entirely up to you, as well. Keep in mind that things can always change for the better, and let the random chance of life be a consolation to you when you have nothing else.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

Sorry the turmoil your going through. It's a tough place to be in...

Have you considered trying to become self employed to get around your work problems/criminal record? Just a suggestion you could maybe look into. There are some jobs that don't necessarily require vetting from police etc. Or it's more a soft check like fit and proper person type thing, which can be less restrictive in nature.

 

[MaxStirner]

Sorry the turmoil your going through. It's a tough place to be in...

Have you considered trying to become self employed to get around your work problems/criminal record? Just a suggestion you could maybe look into. There are some jobs that don't necessarily require vetting from police etc. Or it's more a soft check like fit and proper person type thing, which can be less restrictive in nature.

I second this. Animal shelters, as long as the crime did not involve something with an animal, will allow you to volunteer and then apply to work there. I speak from experience. Much better than working with humans, although it is a taxing job, physically and emotionally. Too many people leave animals behind.

 

[metfan647]

No shame in your decision. See it as time to turn a corner with your MH with the choice always being there for you...for all of us.

 

[vyvanceandvodka]

Sending you so much love

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Sending love, and hope that happiness finds a way to creep into your life in unexpected ways, even if little by little. All the best.

 

[kufajoy]

Hope you find peace in your life

 

[doomedbynarrative]

I was thinking about you.
Massive hugs to you!

 

[Metro]

First of all thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post. I was planning to CTB tonight but after careful consideration I have decided I just couldn't do it to my family. It would destroy them. So I'm back to square one. No money, no job, no friends. But we'll see. I'm just so unhappy.

Happy to hear you're giving life another chance, man. Hope you can get back on your feet

 

[CatLvr]

I wish you all the peace in the world. It is noble that you have decided to stay for them, given the pain I am sure you feel (because I can certainly identify). I hope things get better for you. Don't be too rough on yourself, and don't expect too much at one time. Baby steps, dear. Take little tiny baby steps until you are able to step out a little farther.

 

[binkleshpoo]

I understand I hope you're able to find happiness. I think everyone can somehow

 

[thefarter]

First of all thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post. I was planning to CTB tonight but after careful consideration I have decided I just couldn't do it to my family. It would destroy them. So I'm back to square one. No money, no job, no friends. But we'll see. I'm just so unhappy.

LOVE U

 

[Arvayn]

First of all thank you to everyone who commented on my previous post. I was planning to CTB tonight but after careful consideration I have decided I just couldn't do it to my family. It would destroy them. So I'm back to square one. No money, no job, no friends. But we'll see. I'm just so unhappy.

I hope you're doing alright. I've been thinking about you.

 

[xBrialesana]

I hope you find your next inspiration.
I really do. Whether we see you or not, truly best wishes.

On a side note not to take away your light and journey here, sometimes I almost start to consider myself grateful for not having any family or friends that would be affected…. But then all of that erases when I remember how my family isolated me from the world and told me to kill myself every day while physically abusing me and saying such unbelievably deplorable things, all while being a well off white "Christian" "loving" family. They were so good at their art tho. They really did teach me shut up and take it, and they were so good with how they manipulated others.
The one time I spoke up I sure wish I hadn't. God damn.
But anyways, when I go I will be putting them on blast 100%. ^_^ not even for their most evil or deplorable acts, or even to put their secrets. But like the world needs to know what they were doing to me. The 23 broken bones I have videos of, them belittling and laughing at me when i told them of my violent sexual assault, all of it. The ISOLATING. lying to people that I was sick so they could homeschool and abuse me