Venting CTB and Birthdays

[PatheticCase]

A couple days before my 16th birthday, I Od'd on benzos . It was my first (evidently) unsuccessful attempt. Now, I'm 23 and once again planning with my next birthday being exactly a month away. I'm not sure what exactly it is about birthdays that set me off, but each year just gets more depressing than the last. I'm aware that I have many things to be thankful for, and loved ones to cherish, but I can't handle it anymore. This will be my third (and hopefully final) attempt at finding peace.

I'm going to order my SN tonight.
I need to see if I have any anti emetics, although I'll probably have to settle for something OTC because better something than nothing, and then get an antacid as well as something else to soothe my nerves in case SI starts kicking in.

I plan to CTB before I turn another year older.
I don't know if anyone's gonna read this.
I know no one cares, but just felt like sharing on here because there is no where else that I could possibly do so.

 

[Hemlock]

A couple days before my 16th birthday, I Od'd on benzos . It was my first (evidently) unsuccessful attempt. Now, I'm 23 and once again planning with my next birthday being exactly a month away. I'm not sure what exactly it is about birthdays that set me off, but each year just gets more depressing than the last. I'm aware that I have many things to be thankful for, and loved ones to cherish, but I can't handle it anymore. This will be my third (and hopefully final) attempt at finding peace.

I'm going to order my SN tonight.
I need to see if I have any anti emetics, although I'll probably have to settle for something OTC because better something than nothing, and then get an antacid as well as something else to soothe my nerves in case SI starts kicking in.

I plan to CTB before I turn another year older.
I don't know if anyone's gonna read this.
I know no one cares, but just felt like sharing on here because there is no where else that I could possibly do so.

Welcome to Sanctioned Suicide, @PatheticCase . I wish you all the best.

 

[Jase_Carter]

A couple days before my 16th birthday, I Od'd on benzos . It was my first (evidently) unsuccessful attempt. Now, I'm 23 and once again planning with my next birthday being exactly a month away. I'm not sure what exactly it is about birthdays that set me off, but each year just gets more depressing than the last. I'm aware that I have many things to be thankful for, and loved ones to cherish, but I can't handle it anymore. This will be my third (and hopefully final) attempt at finding peace.

I'm going to order my SN tonight.
I need to see if I have any anti emetics, although I'll probably have to settle for something OTC because better something than nothing, and then get an antacid as well as something else to soothe my nerves in case SI starts kicking in.

I plan to CTB before I turn another year older.
I don't know if anyone's gonna read this.
I know no one cares, but just felt like sharing on here because there is no where else that I could possibly do so.

We all Care PatheticCase and I hope you find peace soon.

 

[sadstargazer231]

We do care, PatheticCase. Birthdays can feel as if it will be just another year of sadness. I hope you find peace.

 

[FuneralCry]

I find birthdays to be very depressing as it is a day that is supposed to celebrate a existence I do not want and did not ask for. Ideally I would like to ctb around my birthday. I hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[Seafoam]

A couple days before my 16th birthday, I Od'd on benzos . It was my first (evidently) unsuccessful attempt. Now, I'm 23 and once again planning with my next birthday being exactly a month away. I'm not sure what exactly it is about birthdays that set me off, but each year just gets more depressing than the last. I'm aware that I have many things to be thankful for, and loved ones to cherish, but I can't handle it anymore. This will be my third (and hopefully final) attempt at finding peace.

I'm going to order my SN tonight.
I need to see if I have any anti emetics, although I'll probably have to settle for something OTC because better something than nothing, and then get an antacid as well as something else to soothe my nerves in case SI starts kicking in.

I plan to CTB before I turn another year older.
I don't know if anyone's gonna read this.
I know no one cares, but just felt like sharing on here because there is no where else that I could possibly do so.

Birthdays are terrible and fill me with dread. I agree that they serve as reminders for how depressing things are. I haven't had a good birthday since I turned 15.

 

[readyforsleep]

My birthday always makes me more suicidal, I guess it just feels like a reminder of how I've had another bad year and my life is in a worse place each time. It's like a glaring reminder of my failure.