Counter intuitive ctb

[loststar]

I have a couple very good friends that mean the world to me and would do anything for me. My mum is basicly a saint for what she will put up with. But i still desprately want to ctb, i cant feel joy in anything but there is really no one to blame. Is there anyone else that feels like this

 

[FuneralCry]

I have a few family members that I would be leaving behind, but I could never suffer for the sake of others. I do not enjoy anything as well, my life is only suffering and misery. I'm sorry that you are in this situation, I know that this life can be unbearable when you are desperate to leave and I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[loststar]

I have a few family members that I would be leaving behind, but I could never suffer for the sake of others. I do not enjoy anything as well, my life is only suffering and misery. I'm sorry that you are in this situation, I know that this life can be unbearable when you are desperate to leave and I wish you the best in whatever happens.

Thank you. Theyre the only thing holding me back but as time goes on the more i come t9 almost resent them. Like why should i have to be misserable so they dont have to be.

 

[wljourney]

Like why should i have to be misserable so they dont have to be.

you are not alone with this dilemma.
Often we hold on for others. Barely. We don't want to hurt them. But at some point your own pain gets so overwhelming that it's difficult to justify further suffering just to prevent others from the pain of being left behind.

often people say CTBing is selfish. But really, them wanting you to continue to live in pain is a special kind of selfish as well.