Contradiction?

[ornitier199]

Like I saw I don't fear death, I can tolerate pain to fight SI, yet when I get an injury like this gash on my leg I'm go and patch it up instead of letting it bleed out and open.
I've stared death in the face before and wasn't scared then but now, I don't know it's just strange.
If I stay alive I'd just be more of an embarrassment and let people down. Fuck, this confliction is frustrating.

 

[Rational man]

You tend to your body when it needs something like.food.or water or first aid. You describe the spirit of ourselves. ACCEPTANCE that death will one day arrive. I think once we accept the physical body will die, we loose the fear of attachments. Our spirit / psyche is therefore independently identified by the self. For example. My body is dying of disease soon AND my spirit has accepted this and I have and can make choices to deal with my body whilst it still exisits.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is difficult to let go of this life. I do not fear death, instead, I look forward to it but I am still here as it is so hard to leave this world. There is nothing here for me in this life. I think that as humans we usually try to avoid pain as much as possible. I wish you the best.

 

[ornitier199]

It really is difficult to let go of this life.

I wonder if it would be easier to do if it wasn't for survival instincts getting the way. I still wouldn't want the most brutal method, but at least the mildly painful ones would be bearable.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Like I saw I don't fear death, I can tolerate pain to fight SI, yet when I get an injury like this gash on my leg I'm go and patch it up instead of letting it bleed out and open.
I've stared death in the face before and wasn't scared then but now, I don't know it's just strange.
If I stay alive I'd just be more of an embarrassment and let people down. Fuck, this confliction is frustrating.

I was reading a book by Dostoevsky, where this man is on his way home to kill himself, when a little girl asks him for some urgent help, I think her Mother is really sick, and he has a similar dilemma, because he feels compelled to help, but then asks himself, why does it matter to me? I'm about to kill myself!

 

[ornitier199]

I was reading a book by Dostoevsky, where this man is on his way home to kill himself, when a little girl asks him for some urgent help, I think her Mother is really sick, and he has a similar dilemma, because he feels compelled to help, but then asks himself, why does it matter to me? I'm about to kill myself!

His origins gives me ptsd.
The main difference there is that I don't have anyone nor would such a think that ever happen to me.
Another person, human? Asking me for help? There's a shock.