considering CTB

[jj645]

HI new here. im ftm trans and my transition journey is on hold due to being considered to emotionally instable to transition, every day i wake up in the wrong body i feel physically sick and exhauseted and like i dont want to be here, i hate myself way more than i can imagine, im also a surviovour of sexual abuse modern day slavery and domestic violence. im trying to decide if i definately want to CTB and how i could CTB this is my first post but iv been here for a number of days reading material

 

[TJuk]

Hi I'm also ftm trans, on testosterone but can't have surgery yet due to my mental health. I've suffered abuse and domestic abuse and violence

With ctb it has to be your own choice.

 

[jj645]

i know im not expecting any help with that part. im not even allowed my first appointment so getting T is really not an option for me at this second, the trans health care system isnt helpful to usand doesnt factor in our abuse histories they just expect us to be stable and dont care that our mental health is directly linked to trans stuff

 

[TJuk]

i know im not expecting any help with that part. im not even allowed my first appointment so getting T is really not an option for me at this second, the trans health care system isnt helpful to usand doesnt factor in our abuse histories they just expect us to be stable and dont care that our mental health is directly linked to trans stuff

Do you mind me asking if you are from the UK? I only ask because I know different countries do things differently. I get that, I had mental health problems before I was put on testosterone but then all of a sudden after been on testosterone the mental health services started blaming me been on testosterone. The process is alot of hoop jumping

 

[jj645]

yes uk. guessing your in the uk too? and it certainly is, i originally came out 10 years ago, but due to family pressure i stopped before trying to access support. this time round i have been out for 6 months but not transitioning sooner made everything harder

 

[TJuk]

Yeah I am also in UK. I've been out since 2016. Sometimes are harder than others, trying to get the ok for certain treatment and the waiting list is awful

 

[Luchs]

When I read threads like this, where people talk about their hardships I just question my right to be suicidal, I mean, my life is objectively great, I'm a white, cis-gender guy, reasonably good looking, 6 feet tall, living in a wealthy European country, coming from a loving middle class family.

 

[pete_x]

L, there's no "right" to be suicidal. Respect your condition, it's real.