Conflicting feelings about brother

[Water-Lily]

So as you know my brother has basitcally turned into an abusive ass. For the past few days, however, he's been uber nice. I know this is all because I have been distancing myself from him to escape his abuse. He has even asked if I noticed how he has changed to where I said I noticed nothing. I am still mindful of how I interact with him, but for now I am riding it out. Inevitably he will act up again and I will have to prepare for that too.

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

My advice...maintain your distance and keep that wall between you strong! I have a sister like that. I think she actually enjoys triggering me. Just when I start to trust her again, she lets me have it -- BAM BAM! A recent incident with her sent me over the edge. I blocked her, she sent me an equally horrible letter saying she knows I will come back around. Lol! NEVER AGAIN!

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I would say keep on top of the situation and don't get too soft with him. One of the most difficult aspects of abuse is how abusers often become nice when the person they abuse starts to become cold towards them, followed by their abusive behavior emerging again once they no longer feel worried about how you're reacting. Allow yourself to embrace any kindness he shows but keep your own health in mind and don't allow anything he does to excuse his past actions too easily.

 

[Water-Lily]

I would say keep on top of the situation and don't get too soft with him. One of the most difficult aspects of abuse is how abusers often become nice when the person they abuse starts to become cold towards them, followed by their abusive behavior emerging again once they no longer feel worried about how you're reacting. Allow yourself to embrace any kindness he shows but keep your own health in mind and don't allow anything he does to excuse his past actions too easily.

tbh, you got a point. yeah I am still not too open with him. I just really hope he changes as he ages