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WhiteDespair

WhiteDespair

The Temporary Problem is Life
Oct 24, 2019
837
I've recently come to the thought that I'm stuck in the middle of the grinding between wanting to not get better so I can complain and not do anything and the realization that the only way to recover is to stop using my past as complaint fuel and put in effort to improve instead.

Anyone else experience this?

It's much easier to complain than put in the effort to get better. This is the answer to the question of whether or not I want to recover.

I don't want to recover because it's easier in all ways to complain and do nothing. I want to recover because I'm getting sick of my life but that requires effort.

I've already made some moves and hard choices. I guess this is now life.
 
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Breakout92

Breakout92

Student
Mar 10, 2021
107
I experience this as well. You're not alone.

I'm truly honestly not certain if I want to get better or not. I have put in effort, really hard effort at certain points in my life and it didn't work. Am I allowed to just complain now and not worry about making any practical efforts to improve?
 
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WhiteDespair

WhiteDespair

The Temporary Problem is Life
Oct 24, 2019
837
I experience this as well. You're not alone.

I'm truly honestly not certain if I want to get better or not. I have put in effort, really hard effort at certain points in my life and it didn't work. Am I allowed to just complain now and not worry about making any practical efforts to improve?
You can complain as much as you'd like. There are generally times when the complaining is accurate and necessary. Like with a therapist or when you just need to vent.

Props on putting in the work. Sometimes it doesn't pan out. So, take a break from it and come at it again. It can take some time to get back in the swing of things.
 
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T

TotallyIsolated

Mage
Nov 25, 2019
590
Yes omg I super identify with this. I feel like I dont actually want to get better I just want to feel sorry for myself. I'm kind of just beating myself up about *this* now - like I'm angry with myself for being angry with myself, so it just loops around. I wish I would actually DO something to get better but I dont know where to go from here.
 
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Rustysoupcan

Rustysoupcan

I'm sensitive
May 2, 2020
242
I definitely feel you. Being depressed is almost my identity, and it's been so long that I dont even know what a non depressed life would look like for me. It's so so much easier to just lay on the couch and cry. I'm not trying very hard in my recovery because im not afraid of going back to my extreme depressed state, and because new things are scary and hard and as a human i dont like scary or hard things.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
I've undoubtedly been stuck in that everlasting cycle more than once and will probably be there again pretty soon.

I think I sometimes manage to get out from that status "thanks" to the UPS I experience due to my bipolar disorder.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,378
That's pretty much how my life has always felt.
 
L

Last chance

Specialist
Feb 6, 2021
346
Yep I get this and the effort required to get better seems pointless because I know I will only end up feeling like this again a few months down the line.
 

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