Comfort in suicide ideation

[No_more]

Does anyone find comfort in suicidal thoughts? I find that the thought of suicide is like a safety net. When I'm without it I feel more anxious.

 

[Despairing]

Yep it is very common.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Yeah same.
I find comfort in knowing I still have control over things.
I would prefer not to die though.

I don't think suicide gets me that much further.
Not exisiting sucks.
I plan on achieving all my goals before I die lol

 

[cyclamen]

Absolutely.

On many occasions, the only reason I'd been able to fall asleep was because I pictured my suicide to calm myself down.

I'm pretty apathetic in my day to day life, but sometimes, usually before I go to sleep, the dam breaks a little. When that happens I'll either suffer until I'm exhausted, or calm myself down by picturing a very realistic suicide (amongst other things).

I've also materialized my thoughts into a person? I dont know, but to me my suicidal ideation and depression has a physical appearance. When I feel emotionally isolated from everyone in my life (which is often) I can feel that person holding and comforting me. And whenever I'm stressed, they're there to distract me from whatever's going on around me.

Basically, me picturing my thoughts as a semi-physical being gives me the physical and emotional connection I dont have with anybody in my life.

So, yeah, suicidal thoughts are an anchor in my life stronger and more reliable than any other I've seen.

 

[Zappfe lover]

Does anyone find comfort in suicidal thoughts? I find that the thought of suicide is like a safety net. When I'm without it I feel more anxious.

 

[autumnal]

View attachment 39776

No relation to Philip!

 

[Eren]

Yes, it happens to me a lot, sometimes it even helps me sleep (because it relaxes me).

It's very common.

 

[Zappfe lover]

No relation to Philip!

Hehehehe

I always read his name wrong

 

[TAW122]

Yes I do, but what helps even more is having an actual method accessible on hand, because then I know beyond a reasonable doubt that I can CTB on a short notice and whenever I choose to, which brings me great relief. This is why when I had my method (a firearm) back at the end of 2018 and for almost all of 2019, I felt a great sense of relief, knowing that whenever and wherever I die, it will be on my own terms. Also with a reliable and instant method, I need not to worry about pain and failure especially if I know what to do and do it correctly.

 

[pleasethistime]

"The obsession with suicide is characteristic of the man who can neither live nor die, and whose attention never swerves from this double impossibility." Cioran

 

[Alucard]

"Without the idea of suicide, I would have surely killed myself." Cioran

 

[SummerDreamer]

yes, it is very common. I find it distracts me from my emotional pain regarding everything else in my life, and knowing there is a way out of the mental torture is a huge comfort to me.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

Yeah, suicidal thoughts are a blanket for my fragile emotional state

 

[Deleted member 19654]

It's comforting to know that I have the option of ending my life and leaving this miserable world

 

[I screwed up]

Absolutely ... Suicidal ideation and this site keep my anxiety at bay

 

[Soulless Angel]

they defo help, knowing that the option is there, knowing It is one choice I , and I only can make and no one can stop me,
Deep in the night when I cannot sleep, envisioning the end is soothing.

 

[whywere]

Totally agree. I find happiness in the fact that i have a pure out if needed.Thinking of moving on to the next experience is very soothing for me when life bites.

 

[Hielier]

Yeah, it is like "if something goes wrong, I can always kms". Like a way to escape.

 

[Pan]

If anything, suicidal ideation protects its victims, whille reaffirming the power of choice. One can step out at anytime, and for whatever reason. Just knowing that this choice is there is enough, I think.

 

[Nymph]

Does anyone find comfort in suicidal thoughts? I find that the thought of suicide is like a safety net. When I'm without it I feel more anxious.

I already have all my things ready so if anything in my life goes very wrong I can escape with my method. Suicide is comforting to me, it's the final escape from my troubles!

 

[Wayfaerer]

The best sleep I've ever had since my whole mess started was when I finally reached the point of planning suicide. So much relief, I slept like a baby afterward!

 

[rt1989526]

Ive been doing this since as early as I can remember. I absolutely relish the idea of not having to be alive anymore, to no longer have to do this fucking garbage.

 

[ImpairedLowlife]

It helps me calm my anxiety down and understand that I am still kinda in control of my life. If things goes too bad I won't need to suffer too much, because ctb is always a way for me.

 

[lighthousekeeper]

yes definitely, I find comfort in there being a way out, but i also kind of seem to use it as an excuse... so what if I'm a burden on my family, I don't want to be alive, etc.

 

[I screwed up]

I wanna ctb now ... But I dont have the guts ... I don't know what to do ... I need an out ..all I do is ideate . I fuckin hate myself , I wanna die now ... Pl kill me

 

[omsoc]

I actually posted about it on my profile yesterday. I feel the same.

 

[redbutterfly]

the thought is extremely calming for me

 

[FriendofDeath]

I am odd one out, it looks like. I think about suicide and death a LOT due to my past experiences. I was watching an old TV show and two characters fell off a bridge. And what do I say? That won't kill them - it isn't high enough. What a SS thing to say! Growing up I was a human barometer and was good at predicting tornadoes (without all the weather info we have today). Now I'm more in tune with death - maybe it's because I don't just accept it - I want to understand it. Can't, unless you go to the other side... :)

 

[Bruces]

yes I'd like to go too

 

[FailedPhoenix]

Very often the thought I can ctb is the only thing that gets me through the painful days and nights. It's the only thing left I feel I have control over.