Venting Collapsing

[Fadeawaaaay]

Everyday I diminish a little more …. Stopped responding to messages…. Paying bills…. Getting dressed….
Circling the drain …. Waiting for nightfall when I can sleep….
I'm amazed at how much motivation people have on this forum to care about anything at all … I sincerely am amazed …. Having dissociated entirely …
vaguely hoping this condition will lead to some kind of sudden death though I know it won't … our bodies just keep persisting despite our lack of interest or involvement
… I'll see a homeless guy sleeping in an alley and wonder how he persists …. Finding something to eat…. Gathering his things in a shopping cart …. Foraging fir bottles and cans… where does he get the motivation?
I can relate to wanting food …. When I get hungry I go buy myself cereal …

 

[FuneralCry]

I do wish that it is easier to leave this world, but of course even know we do not want to be here, we are programmed to live. To me it is horrifying how our bodies can survive even when we suffer so unbearably or even pretty much die inside. I know that it is awful when things just get worse, to me living really is torture. I'm sorry that you are going through this.

 

[Un-]

Spitting reflection of the image you wrote.. Just the exception of hunger, sex - a hedonistic lifestyle. I can't understand the pursuement of pleasure. Wanting to get better. Like quenching hunger. I think of food, and I feel like throwing up. I think of sex, and I feel like throwing up. I think of happiness, and I feel like throwing up. After a while, the humanity in me died. I relate more with a black screen than any human being.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Spitting reflection of the image you wrote.. Just the exception of hunger, sex - a hedonistic lifestyle. I can't understand the pursuement of pleasure. Wanting to get better. Like quenching hunger. I think of food, and I feel like throwing up. I think of sex, and I feel like throwing up. I think of happiness, and I feel like throwing up. After a while, the humanity in me died. I relate more with a black screen than any human being.

I'm not even really depressed… It's all just a logical conclusion of idiotic choices dating back decades…. Thing lived in fear my entire life

 

[September5th]

I feel you. I couldn't leave my bed today. 2PM and I'm still here. What a failure I truly am.

 

[Un-]

I'm not even really depressed… It's all just a logical conclusion of idiotic choices dating back decades…. Thing lived in fear my entire life

I guess contrary to what people think, deep, really bad depression is more than a brain fuck up. It's.. Not a philosophy, but something logically thought out. Something that'd prevent you from smiling at the world, at your fellow mind, at yourself.. Something that goes beyond just fucked up brain chemicals. I don't know. I'm sorry you're feeling this way..

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I guess contrary to what people think, deep, really bad depression is more than a brain fuck up. It's.. Not a philosophy, but something logically thought out. Something that'd prevent you from smiling at the world, at your fellow mind, at yourself.. Something that goes beyond just fucked up brain chemicals. I don't know. I'm sorry you're feeling this way..

Thanks… It's just a combination of various factors…… Always seen the world through a melancholy lens …. Too much anxiety and I never could think straight… Had everything given to me but blew my opportunities…. These things happen

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

Spitting reflection of the image you wrote.. Just the exception of hunger, sex - a hedonistic lifestyle. I can't understand the pursuement of pleasure. Wanting to get better. Like quenching hunger. I think of food, and I feel like throwing up. I think of sex, and I feel like throwing up. I think of happiness, and I feel like throwing up. After a while, the humanity in me died. I relate more with a black screen than any human being.

This is how I feel now too

 

[September5th]

I guess contrary to what people think, deep, really bad depression is more than a brain fuck up. It's.. Not a philosophy, but something logically thought out. Something that'd prevent you from smiling at the world, at your fellow mind, at yourself.. Something that goes beyond just fucked up brain chemicals. I don't know. I'm sorry you're feeling this way..

Give man hope just to take that from him. It's not brain cells. It's you coming to the realization that life truly is horrible, at least in this planet. You loose the will to keep going. I guess that's it.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Give man hope just to take that from him. It's not brain cells. It's you coming to the realization that life truly is horrible, at least in this planet. You loose the will to keep going. I guess that's it.

I don't think life is horrible… It's just my circumstances that I created

 

[Hollowman]

I can't imagine how homeless people carry on. The day that happens to me I'm done.

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

I don't even really eat anymore.