Closer than ever

[narval]

Well. Last months i was doing well. Or at least not so bad. Enough to consider to logout and not come back.
But today, my grandma (with whom I live) did a drama about something irrelevant. Some clothes which i don't use. A real fucking drama. I didn't even see it coming.
I'm wondering of take my things and go away if she continues her drama later (now isn't in home, she did the drame little before of go away). I know her and is way better to be homeless than deal with her dramas. This situation it's not normal, of course.


Time of guessing the future
Idk if is the breakpoint or something. If it is the breakpoint, i'll spend the midday/afternoon mooving away. I'll keep my more important things in a storage room/warehouse i have.

Then... I don't know. i'll cancel a couple of subscriptions to digital media, same with therapy. I won't be able to pay it. And then, i'll look for my plan to CTB. My default option is niight-night, but if i find a better option, i'll choose the other.

Final words (but i hope don't):
these things make me realize that i am at one step of CTB. Always. That hasn't changed. That's why i didn't logout from here.
I'll hang around for a while, but at any moment today (or the next days) this could change.
If i post again, means that i'm still here.
If i do not... I'll verify my plan, request my bann, and, well, game over man. Game over. At least this little history will stay somewhere.

 

[Huntfish34]

Sorry I don't really have much to say but I certainly understand and respect what you are talking about. Life just Fckn sucks sometimes. I feel that I am pretty close to ending everything as well. Dealing with life on life's terms with all the dumb shit mixed in.

Thoughts and prayers to you in whatever may happen.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have never heard of anyone succeeding with the Night Night method before, to me it does sound unreliable, but I understand having no other option. To me, life just seems to be an endless struggle with no escape from problems. I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

 

[narval]

I have never heard of anyone succeeding with the Night Night method before, to me it does sound unreliable, but I understand having no other option. To me, life just seems to be an endless struggle with no escape from problems. I'm sorry that it has come to this point for you. I hope that you find relief from your suffering.

I know that's unreliable, but i've no "substances" option. As it is summer, rely in climate (cold or sickness related to cold) is neither an option. No guns available. Jump from high or a train right now are options, but desperate.

So few options left. Hanging or night-night. About the first, i would require a isolated place and I don't know where (i'm still cappable of buy a good rope however). PErhaps i could try partial, but still i don't know where

About night-night, i found the spot (99% sure) and i've socks & ratchets. If needed, i could buy some extra things as doesn't seems expensive.


I know, don't have a good option right now. At least there wasn't a drama since my OP. We're in a tense peace.

 

[narval]

The drama crisis seems that's going away. Not sure if good or bad. For a 1/2 day i had the hope that this would be my end.

 

[plshlpme]

both night night and partial are unreliable. I tried so many times and all failed :(