Games Clichés

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

Many of us wound up here (on SS) because we're sick and tired of empty platitudes and pro-life rhetoric on other forums. I won't name said forums here but you get it.

The rules of this game are simple:

1. First person comes up with a cliché commonly used on suicidal people. Including but not limited to: words, common phrases, popular sayings etc. Now, imagine that it comes from the mouth of a well-meaning but otherwise clueless individual (family, friends, health professionals, random strangers etc.).

2. Next person comes up with a response to said cliché. Witty remarks of irony, pun, satire and sarcasm are welcome, and so is stating straight facts. Insults and swear words are fine but try not to go overboard. Then he/she comes with another cliché for the person after to respond to, so on and so forth.

Example (I'll start):
I'll use C for cliché and R for response.

C: The meaning of life is to give life meaning.
R: Back to square one. Thanks, Captain Obvious!

C: Suicide is the coward's way out.

You continue!

REMEMBER: THIS GAME ISN'T MEANT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY!!

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

What a great idea for a game! Requires some thinking too.

C: Suicide is the coward's way out.

R: What's so cowardly about willingly jumping off a cliff, poisoning/hanging yourself, or putting a gun to your head? Sounds pretty brave to me.

C: You should get some exercise and eat healthy to improve your mood.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

C: You should get some exercise and eat healthy to improve your mood.

R: *typing sounds
Look how many calories I burn in a day. My fingers run literal MARATHON.

Oh, and *crunch* I've switched from potato to veggie chips. Beet, carrot, sweet potato, *crunch* broccoli, kale, spinach, tomato, mushrooms, you *crunch* name it. Proteins, fiber, vitamins and minerals *crunch* all-in-one. Mmm, so tasty!

C: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

C: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

R: Why shouldn't any problem temporary or otherwise have a permanent solution? Teaching a man to fish is a permanent way to solve the temporary problem of hunger.

C: But you just have SO much to live for!

 

[narval]

R: yeah, sure. It's a shame that i've much more to die for.
C: those Who threaten to (or fails to) commit are only crybabys Who wants attention

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: What a great way to make people want to do it even more by making them feel worse about themselves.

C: Here's a suicide hotline. Just call (###)-###-#### and you'll never want to kill yourself again!

 

[Hirokami]

R: Bold for you to assume those things actually work.

C: Suicide is selfish. Think about the people you'll be leaving behind!

 

[Callie Arcale]

R: I hate my suffering more than I love my family.

C: The problem is you're not trying hard enough to get well. If you really want somethig, you can do it.

 

[WornOutLife]

R: I want a dragon as a pet and no matter what I do, it's not here.

C: All lives are precious. Killing yourself is nonsense! God won't forgive you!

 

[Callie Arcale]

R: And I won't forgive God for creating this insane, atrocious circus called life.

C: You really should talk to a psychologist again!

 

[WornOutLife]

R: And I can't forgive God for creating this insane, atrocious circus called life.

C: You really should talk to a psychologist again!

R: Oh, you mean I should waste my money again? It's better talking to a wall you know?

C: Things are not as bad as you think. You shouldn't ctb just because of that...

 

[Callie Arcale]

R: Please tell me more about my life! You seem to be an expert on my problems. Oh, you are so wise and knowledgeable.

C: There's kids starving in Africa! How can you complain?

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: If I was one of those kids in Africa I'd still want to CTB too and now I'd have an even better reason to.

C: You just gotta learn to love yourself first.

 

[WornOutLife]

R: Love is just an illusion. Ask my ex gf.

C: If you ctb, Jesus will never forgive you!

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

C: If you ctb, Jesus will never forgive you!

R: Didn't Jesus pay the price for our sins? You're telling me it's (ctb) not included? I want to speak to the manager!*

*AKA God. I'm playing on the Karen meme, for those who don't know.

C: Things can and will, get better.

 

[Donk]

R: Didn't Jesus pay the price for our sins? You're telling me it's (ctb) not included? I want to speak to the manager!*

*AKA God. I'm playing on the Karen meme, for those who don't know.

C: Things can and will, get better.

R: Thanks I feel way better now Nostradamus!

C: Everyone suffers in life.

 

[Callie Arcale]

C: Everyone suffers in life.

R: Just because everyone suffers, doesn't mean that I, Callie, do not have full autonomy to decide how to live my life and when to end my suffering.

C: The right thing will come to you at the right time.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: Well I'm impatient because I've been waiting long enough, which means the right time is NOW. If it's not happening now or within the next year, why delay the inevitable?

C: You just haven't tried enough yet.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

C: You just haven't tried enough yet.

R: But of course! The reason why I'm still here. You know what they say: if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

Everyone, OP here. Just wanted to say I absolutely LOVE reading your responses.

C: Success is a journey, not a destination.

 

[Thinking]

R: Well, if this is the journey then I'd rather fail.

C: What if you regret it?

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

C: What if you regret it?

(Assuming it's a random stranger)
R: What if I don't? Nice try.

C: Think of your family.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

R: Sure, I'll think of them as I'm kicking the chair.

C: You'll find someone!

(S-tier thread, btw)

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: Yeah I can always find someone, but who but the most naive/demented/unwitting would want to be found by me? I'd rather someone find me first to avoid having to deal with that.

C: You are not alone. You have so many people in life who depend on you!

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

R: And?

C: If you're dead you can't travel, meet people, watch netflix or eat pizza!

 

[narval]

R: i can't do the half of that nor i spect i'll can. The things i can aren't so great
C: C'mon, Life is beautiful :)

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: My life isn't. It's quite disgusting. Would you like to hear all the ways I've made it disgusting?

C: Just suck it up. Being miserable builds character.

 

[narval]

R: Yes, It does. A depresive and miserable character.

C: [after commit]. nobody expected it. seemed so normal :(

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

R: [from beyond the grave]: I made myself seem normal on purpose so ppl like you wouldn't freak out and try to deny me what's rightfully mine. Thank goodness I've succeeded!

C: If you do this, you'd inspire others to copy you and do it too!

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

C: If you do this, you'd inspire others to copy you and do it too!

R: Monkey see, monkey do eh? So much for us being the smartest animals on the planet. Do what you want. It's none of my business.

C: You are not your mistakes.

 

[WornOutLife]

C: You are not your mistakes.

R: Tell that to my overweight, bipolar disorder, depression and the underdog I can see in the mirror everyday!

C: Why would you give up? You are a WINNER! Only losers give up!