Venting CBT scary. Avoiding it even scarier.

[Fadeawaaaay]

Living on like a zombie day after day for years.

 

[Snake of Eden]

Thats how it goes

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like I have already died in a way, it is painful living an empty existence. Of course ctb is very difficult, after all we are programmed to survive even know we want to die, and we are denied a peaceful exit, but at the same time, this life is a nightmare. It is a hopeless feeling when there is no escape from the suffering. I just know I will get desperate enough eventually and only then I will be free. It is frustrating how we were forced to exist and we have to endure the horrors of this life.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I feel like I have already died in a way, it is painful living an empty existence. Of course ctb is very difficult, after all we are programmed to survive even know we want to die, and we are denied a peaceful exit, but at the same time, this life is a nightmare. It is a hopeless feeling when there is no escape from the suffering. I just know I will get desperate enough eventually and only then I will be free. It is frustrating how we were forced to exist and we have to endure the horrors of this life.

But CBT requires motivation and action. Hard if you're feeling utterly defeated and resigned. Easier to molder and rot.
I remember my girlfriend telling me that her mother was a security guard part time. And I imagine to myself Jesus how can she live like that.
And then I think to myself, that's gonna be me if I run out of money before I manage to CBT. Well actually I'll probably be homeless I don't think I can motivate to even be a security guard. I'll be homeless.

 

[Samsara]

I agree. I think people CTB when the emotional pain and suffering outweighs their survival instinct. Essentially being in so much emotional pain you don't really care about the additional physical pain associated with ctb