cancel ctb debrief

[derekWest]

Hi,, on the 17st monday of march 2025 at 9PM (utc+1), i initiate my sn ctb plan.

after 30" (so 10" before sn drink), i decide to cancel all this mess... because i don't felt enouch hopeless to this, i think.
maybe, i just would to be in front of a choice and felt that I CAN choose to still alive or die and fuck this world...

i don't regret too much my decision, moreover, being still alive have this "advantage" to allow to choose again

now, i'm concentrate on my back to work after 4 month' sick leave. and i decide to find some hookups to fuck with love and without be worried about how this life and world are so mess sometimes...

TLTR :

.
PS : i don't find anybody to fuck, i'm so frustrated... but i have some hope to find someone soon. and maybe i will find love too.

 

[derekWest]

2 week after my ctb attempt, i don't regret my decision

i go back to work in part time. collegues was happy to see me back (and me was also happy to see them). i find some hookups on gay dating apps. i found also maybe a friend to go swimming into sea. i'm cycling with my e-bike since weather is very sunny. i'm invested in a association about autism (i transport some furnitures, i contribute to some meeting...)

to conclude, all goes better and i'm quite surprise ! I hope it will goes on.

BUT, i'm still convinced that all may goes worse soon because of wars, geopolitcs issues, economic recession... So, i keep my sn ! I think i will go ctb before 2035.