restingplace
Student
- Mar 7, 2024
- 165
This is a bit of a story, bit of a vent but mainly just looking for people with any experience
I've just been looking back at my old posts and I've seen how far I've come.
Kind of crazy to say but I've improved as a person and mental health wise quite a bit, but I still hate the prospect of living and am clinically depressed.
I recently went through a really painful break up which was entirely my fault, although I believe not being in a relationship is probably the best thing for me right now.
Failing at being successful in the future and still unemployed, leeching off my parents money for stuff i don't need.
I think that because of the shit I've gone through and my mental health in general, it has made me a bad person and hurt a lot of people. There's a lot that goes into it but that's a brief overlook.
My plan is to ctb in the next two years if my circumstances don't improve majorly.
I live very close to this infamous bridge which I think it about 150 feet into water, so basically fatal. That's my main idea, not ideal because cars use it constantly and it's easy to be spotted but holy shit are those walls doing nothing, no suicide nets and an easy mountain to climb to get there. There's literally a pedestrian pathway lmao. My ideal death would be do just overdose somewhere peaceful, maybe at home or somewhere dear to me like the cemetery but i don't have the resources for that, knowing me i might also panic and it won't be as peaceful If i have too much time to think about my death and the things I'm leaving behind.
It's strange being suicidal but actually having atleast something to live for. It just sucks that I've had awful experiences my whole life and I just can't keep up, the past has affected me too much.
I've also got anxiety so going on the bridge, even if I was listening to music on full volume through my headphones, I would still be paranoid of cars honking at me and stuff.
I have the means to Ligature as well just scared of becoming paralysed if it doesn't work.
Anyone have any experience with bridges similar to the one I'm talking about? And how to make it as peaceful as possible because I know it won't be painful, I just want it to be peaceful.
Uk based btw
I've just been looking back at my old posts and I've seen how far I've come.
Kind of crazy to say but I've improved as a person and mental health wise quite a bit, but I still hate the prospect of living and am clinically depressed.
I recently went through a really painful break up which was entirely my fault, although I believe not being in a relationship is probably the best thing for me right now.
Failing at being successful in the future and still unemployed, leeching off my parents money for stuff i don't need.
I think that because of the shit I've gone through and my mental health in general, it has made me a bad person and hurt a lot of people. There's a lot that goes into it but that's a brief overlook.
My plan is to ctb in the next two years if my circumstances don't improve majorly.
I live very close to this infamous bridge which I think it about 150 feet into water, so basically fatal. That's my main idea, not ideal because cars use it constantly and it's easy to be spotted but holy shit are those walls doing nothing, no suicide nets and an easy mountain to climb to get there. There's literally a pedestrian pathway lmao. My ideal death would be do just overdose somewhere peaceful, maybe at home or somewhere dear to me like the cemetery but i don't have the resources for that, knowing me i might also panic and it won't be as peaceful If i have too much time to think about my death and the things I'm leaving behind.
It's strange being suicidal but actually having atleast something to live for. It just sucks that I've had awful experiences my whole life and I just can't keep up, the past has affected me too much.
I've also got anxiety so going on the bridge, even if I was listening to music on full volume through my headphones, I would still be paranoid of cars honking at me and stuff.
I have the means to Ligature as well just scared of becoming paralysed if it doesn't work.
Anyone have any experience with bridges similar to the one I'm talking about? And how to make it as peaceful as possible because I know it won't be painful, I just want it to be peaceful.
Uk based btw
