Breaking down in front of family, co-workers when asked “how are you doing?”

[Razor67]

Hi everyone,

Was wondering how you deal or can share tips on handeling emotions when asked "how are you doing?" If they knew I'm afraid that obviously family or management a full blown panic would brake out if I say how I am really feeling..
talked to more psychiatrists that I can count they all just don't get it..

I am on benzos (self medicate) so that helps with controlling it. But sometimes I feel my stomach turning when I have to lie to them. Even had to puke couple times because if they only knew how I am feeling. I am very good putting on my happy mask. I do have a borderline disorder and heavy mood swings from happy to complete breakdowns in tears.

Any tips or anything that can help with dealing with others that wouldn't understand or would ring the alarm bells. Really want to avoid the second because it's set for me that I will CTB in July 22 (financial thing and really want N instead of SN)

Thanks in advance and happy I found this place where I can really share my feelings.

 

[houseofleaves]

Woah… i actually don't know how to help you, but maybe — maybe this will help: practice lying to yourself standing before a mirror. Smile, raise your brows for a bit and say cheerfully: «Oh, i'm doing great! And you?», «I'm kinda tired, but it's no big deal, what about you?», «Same shit every day, man! Tell me about yourself», et cetera, et cetera. At first you will probably cry. Like, a lot. But i think that could help you when you finish crying . Or not. I don't know. I'm just a random person from the internet.

 

[Razor67]

Woah… i actually don't know how to help you, but maybe — maybe this will help: practice lying to yourself standing before a mirror. Smile, raise your brows for a bit and say cheerfully: «Oh, i'm doing great! And you?», «I'm kinda tired, but it's no big deal, what about you?», «Same shit every day, man! Tell me about yourself», et cetera, et cetera. At first you will probably cry. Like, a lot. But i think that could help you when you finish crying . Or not. I don't know. I'm just a random person from the internet.

Never thought about that and thinking about it makes me feel horrible but it makes sense I have to "act" my way trough the last couple months. It's very difficult. With Family less (ironically) I feel co-workers seem to care more about my well-being.. completely disconnected with family like we live in 2 different worlds or reality's. Sometimes I am like. Is it me who's crazy that doesn't want to live in this cesspool of a planet full of corruption and us being like a tumor to the planet I was put on with a brain that's feel like it's on fire sometimes.

 

[houseofleaves]

Never thought about that and thinking about it makes me feel horrible but it makes sense I have to "act" my way trough the last couple months. It's very difficult.

I think i understand… I always lie to family members. Like, i can be crying, bawling my eyes out for an hour, then they call me and i answer in the happiest way possible.

With Family less (ironically) I feel co-workers seem to care more about my well-being.. completely disconnected with family like we live in 2 different worlds or reality's.

YES THIS +++

 

[Razor67]

I think i understand… I always lie to family members. Like, i can be crying, bawling my eyes out for an hour, then they call me and i answer in the happiest way possible.

YES THIS +++

Thanks for listening en understanding

 

[EmptyFields]

I second the "fake it til you make it" sentiment, but it is difficult to learn. Took me awhile. You have to observe facial expressions, speech, and the general vibe of whatever group you're around and mimic it. Now it almost happens automatically for me. Failing that: deflect. "Oh, never mind me. How are you?" Bounce out of the question as fast as they put you there.

I won't pretend I know what you're going through, but you sound very brave. I hope you get what you want.