Venting BPD and partial suspension.

[She Lost Her Way]

Still pretty new here. Have been having suicidal ideation since 14. I also have BPD and ADHD with manifestations of depressions of anxiety. Well, anyway, my partner, with whom I felt happiness for the first time broke up with me because of my BPD (and his on issues). He was the first person I have ever had feelings toward. No matter how lame it sounds, now that we are not together and I cannot just force him into loving me. I feel incredibly suicidal. And it's been a fairly long time. He was my family, my on;y friend, the only person who I have slept with who didn't traumatized me.

I would rather go for N or, at least, SN. But I don't have the means, so PS is all I have.

I have been hurting him a lot recently with mt suicidal threats. That's the only way I can stop hurting both of us. So, partial suspension tips! Thank you :)

Going for it tonight, hopefully. This community is all I have. I am very sorry if I sound too dramatic. Believe me, I am not :)

 

[FuneralCry]

Living is very painful. It sounds like you have been through a lot. I also wish I had N, from what I have heard it is the most peaceful way to exit. We all deserve the option of a peaceful exit at a time of our own choosing. I wish you the best with your plans. I hope you find peace.

 

[Eternal Oblivion]

Sorry about your troubles, a broken heart can destroy ones soul.

I've been considering partial myself.

I've saw this video in here:
https://i.sanctioned-suicide.net/images/2021/08/131802_Video.mp4

I'll try to imitate him.