Bipolar cycle

[fox_wannabe]

feeling I can do stuff for few hours -->feeling I can't do anything for hours to days-->I want to die -->rotting in home for days or all the time--> feeling I can do stuff for few hours --> repeat

It is so tiring. I had idea to join military and I reminded myself that I am introvert and I am actually not keen on shooting people and waking up at 6 o'clock. I had many different hopes like that but they all fail after some time. Indeed nothing here truly last and all things here are fleeting and are only construct of our brains, once It dies all ideas die (I think lol).

I would be attempting at this point but my brother came to visit me and I cannot ctb with him finding my body.

 

[FuneralCry]

It does sound very exhausting what you are going through. I'm sorry you are suffering. I hope you find peace.

 

[fox_wannabe]

It does sound very exhausting what you are going through. I'm sorry you are suffering. I hope you find peace.

Thank you. I see you around often.. how are you doing? Do you want to talk?

 

[membo]

Sorry you're feeling that. I can definitely relate. One more bit that further worsens things is the frustration and regret when I get back to "normal" at all the wasted time and opportunities I let crumble when I was depressed. Repeat.

 

[existtosuffer]

Yep I feel you on that one.

My mood chart looks like a car engine that won't start.

 

[FuneralCry]

Thank you. I see you around often.. how are you doing? Do you want to talk?

Yes, I'm on this site often to try and pass the time. Thanks for asking how I'm doing, I am still tired of existing as usual and nothing will ever make me want to live. I wish you the best.

 

[fox_wannabe]

Yes, I'm on this site often to try and pass the time. Thanks for asking how I'm doing, I am still tired of existing as usual and nothing will ever make me want to live. I wish you the best.

Thanks, I wish for your time to pass painlessly

 

[Ch92921]

It does sound very exhausting what you are going through. I'm sorry you are suffering. I hope you find peace.

Do you suffer under MDD?

 

[FuneralCry]

Do you suffer under MDD?

I am not 'mentally ill', wanting suicide is perfectly rational in a life as horrible as this. Also this question is not related to the OP's thread in any way.