Between two worlds

[Bauhaus]

(The title is a reference to the movie from 1944 where a bunch of people are stuck on a boat, not knowing it's destination.
Gradually they realize they're all dead and are stuck in limbo.)

I'm completely exhausted, yet when I go to bed I don't fall asleep. Doesn't matter if I take a shitload of sleeping pills, when I go to bed in the morning, afternoon, evening or night. I never go into deep sleep, meaning I actually never lose consciousness, there's no moment when my mind shuts down and basically just blacks out and I don't have to think about anything anymore. And then I get out of bed since I don't fall asleep but I'm too exhausted to focus on anything and do something active. So after a while I just go to bed again. In bed, out bed, in bed, out bed,... it just goes on forever, day & night are meaningless to me. I also feel like I'm stuck in limbo and there's no way out.

 

[oneanonymous]

I can relate to this. Insomnia itself can turn into a nightmare.

 

[falloutcarter13]

Absolutely. You feel like you'll go insane if you can't just black out for a few minutes, you find yourself begging who/whatever is out there and offering up bargains for pieces of your soul for just a little bit of sleep and relief. Its a nightmare, and I'm so sorry you're going through it...