Best substance to force my depressed brain to be happy??

[CiproKilledMe]

I'm living with agonizing, incapacitating, intractable full-body pain 24/7/365. Nothing I've tried has worked for my pain, up to and including fentanyl. I've come to the unfortunate conclusion that my only way out of this HELL is to CTB. But sometimes I wonder: If I could hack my brain to not care so much about being in AGONY, would I be able to keep going? Obviously I'm deeply depressed (show me someone living with chronic 10/10 pain who isn't) and I also get anxious and panicky whenever my pain flares up. Even just waking up each day I nearly have a panic attack as I realize I'm still alive and still in this torture chamber of a body. Does anyone have any recommendations for a substance I could use that might fool my brain into being happy, despite being in such shit circumstances?? I found that kratom worked for me for a while but it's kind of difficult to use because the effects only last for a little over an hour and has to be taken on an empty stomach. Any other suggestions?

 

[Hurt]

Talk to a psychiaqtrist. Tell them how you feel and maybe they will prescribe you an antidepressant. Hope you can feel better.

 

[At_The_End]

Sorry you are in such pain both physically and mentally. Know it might hurt but exercise is a sure thing for lifting mood. A brisk walk or even a few squats or bends in the home can work wonders.... Best of luck...

 

[CiproKilledMe]

Sorry you are in such pain both physically and mentally. Know it might hurt but exercise is a sure thing for lifting mood. A brisk walk or even a few squats or bends in the home can work wonders.... Best of luck...

Thank you. Unfortunately I'm bedridden :\

 

[Cant go back]

I would try weed. I haven't used it for pain but depending on the quality it makes me happy. Even if it doesn't make you happy it might make you care less about your situation. Just my 2 cents.

 

[LifeQuitter2018]

Have you tried Ketamine ?

 

[CiproKilledMe]

Have you tried Ketamine ?

I haven't...wouldn't I have to go somewhere in order to have that administered? Unfortunately I am so badly disabled that I can no longer even leave my house, believe it or not. I'm really F'd.

 

[Weary Soul]

I have known this feeling well (both acute and chronic pain) and am so sorry you are in this state - it is a terrible place to be, terrible.

A bit more information might help to understand your situation:

• Do you have a diganosis for the pain that helps docs in finding good treatment modalities. And by docs, I mean a very, very good one - not the majority who, IME, are supidly following the herd of a stupid government that is supidly short-sighted when it comes to severe intractible pain - sorry - rant on the US healthcare lack-of system there for a moment.

The reason I ask is not to be invasive (and please be careful what you share - keeping it as minimal as possible for your safety), but different causes of pain can be treated differently. For example, I have had broken ribs and a craniotomy - in those cases I needed opioids for pain. I also had a severed nerve and a severe B12 deficiency that caused excruciating pain - in those cases I needed a medication that was more for nerve pain (eg, gapapentin or lyrica) and a course of B12 injections.

One thing I do know, at least for me, is that more tense I got (ie, body tension as a result of anxiety/PTSD before the pain became full flegged) - the more the pain would flare.

And even though I say this - I absolutely know how hard it is to fight that natural response of anxiety and dread that the pain is coming. Seems to me that this is a natural response to severe pain and knowing, through experience, that the pain is coming.

 

[hermes]

I haven't...wouldn't I have to go somewhere in order to have that administered? Unfortunately I am so badly disabled that I can no longer even leave my house, believe it or not. I'm really F'd.

Ketamine clinics have gone Virtual / Online
They send a Ketamine Pill and once you take it, they will monitor online.

There is newer company about to begin its operations
They send nurse home and nurse will manage the Ketamine Infusion.

 

[western_heart]

Ketamine is the most effective antidepressant I've ever used. it gives me lasting relief from one dose.

I'm doing treatment myself at home using recreational drugs. Clinical treatment is incredibly expensive.

 

[CiproKilledMe]

• Do you have a diganosis for the pain that helps docs in finding good treatment modalities. And by docs, I mean a very, very good one - not the majority who, IME, are supidly following the herd of a stupid government that is supidly short-sighted when it comes to severe intractible pain - sorry - rant on the US healthcare lack-of system there for a moment.

I was poisoned by an antibiotic (Cipro) which has ravaged all of my connective tissues. Doctors have been of absolutely no help to me. Most deny Cipro even does this to people. They are dangerously ignorant. I've tried all sorts of things to try and lessen my pain (acupuncture, CBD oil, marijuana, neurontin, morphine, oxycodone, fentanyl, red light therapy, infrared, every supplement under the sun) and nothing has made any difference at all. So if I can't lessen my pain, I thought maybe I'd try hacking my brain to not care so much about being in pain--if that's even humanly possible.

Ketamine clinics have gone Virtual / Online
They send a Ketamine Pill and once you take it, they will monitor online.

There is newer company about to begin its operations
They send nurse home and nurse will manage the Ketamine Infusion.

Wow, that's amazing--thank you! I'm definitely going to look into it.

Edit: So I'm on their website filling out their questionnaire and it says certain people are not good candidates for ketamine, including people who've planned on ctb within the last year. Should I just lie and say that doesn't apply to me, or is there a legit reason why someone suicidal shouldn't do ketamine?

 

[hermes]

I was poisoned by an antibiotic (Cipro) which has ravaged all of my connective tissues. Doctors have been of absolutely no help to me. Most deny Cipro even does this to people. They are dangerously ignorant. I've tried all sorts of things to try and lessen my pain (acupuncture, CBD oil, marijuana, neurontin, morphine, oxycodone, fentanyl, red light therapy, infrared, every supplement under the sun) and nothing has made any difference at all. So if I can't lessen my pain, I thought maybe I'd try hacking my brain to not care so much about being in pain--if that's even humanly possible.


Wow, that's amazing--thank you! I'm definitely going to look into it.

I am not sure how effective it is but how about hypnotism. If Hypno-Birthing can numb pain of child birth, hypnotherapy for dental procedures then you can try it for your pains too?

 

[CiproKilledMe]

I am not sure how effective it is but how about hypnotism. If Hypno-Birthing can numb pain of child birth, hypnotherapy for dental procedures then you can try it for your pains too?

I've thought about that too! I wish I could get hypnotized to enjoy pain (or at least not hate it this much). I'll have to look into that too, thanks!

 

[Weary Soul]

I was poisoned by an antibiotic (Cipro) which has ravaged all of my connective tissues. Doctors have been of absolutely no help to me. Most deny Cipro even does this to people. They are dangerously ignorant. I've tried all sorts of things to try and lessen my pain (acupuncture, CBD oil, marijuana, neurontin, morphine, oxycodone, fentanyl, red light therapy, infrared, every supplement under the sun) and nothing has made any difference at all. So if I can't lessen my pain, I thought maybe I'd try hacking my brain to not care so much about being in pain--if that's even humanly possible.

It really irritates me that anyone would ever say that a medication does not cause an adverse effect. Every single individual is different - and while a drug may not cause an effect in the vast majority of people, it certainly can cause severe and devestating adverse events in the few.

I just did a quick search and found some interesting things about cipro and safety, that really seem to align with what you are going through, and NOT what doctors or others may be telling you:

• MedlinePlus had an important warning - you can see it here: medlineplus.gov/druginfo/meds/a688016.html (can copy the url into a browser and see this warning - it seems to me that it may well describe what you are going through).
  
  
• The FDA required a change in the product label for cipro, including issuance of a boxed warning(2016I think) - indicating a lot of what you describe (you can see the details of it here: www.fda.gov/media/99425/download - or search fda cipro safety warnings).

You mentioned you were bed-bound because of this? If possible, can you ask for those around you to search for a doctor - a really, really good one, who knows about Cipro effects and possible treatment modalities for you - there may be newer treatments out there that could potentially help and a doctor knowledgeable with the possible Cipro effects and who is understanding of what you are going through, may, just may, go the extra mile to try and find something that would work. I am so sorry you are in so much devestating pain.

And please know that what I am about to write is total speculation on my part without any research (and I am not a doc), but I am going to put it here anyway in the rare case it might help. There has been a lot of discussion recently about how important gut bacteria are - a lot more imporant than previously realized. Antibiotics typically wipe these out - and it takes time to recover. When I had my craniotomy, I was put on Levoquin, and the docs automatically also put me on probiotics, I was pretty surprised by this - never had that before in my many years on antibiotics. I am wondering if lack of these gut bacteria (either then and/or now) have led to your situation? Again, just pure speculation on my part - but maybe something to ask a doc about.

As far as hacking your brain, you could try deep hypnosis for pain relief (I did it the other day - youtube and it helped for a short while - but my pain was nothing on the scale of yours, so I am not sure how well this would work.)

 

[SosoruzeDosukoi]

DMT and LSD used to put me in a good mood for a few days sometimes weeks, though never permanent, and not something I'd recommend doing a lot of all the time. When I've had suicidal or depressive thoughts while on these things, I wasn't really upset by them, just kinda got to analyze at them from a completely different mindset (or through talking to a magical entity about it lol). I have heard about DMT being in testing for depression, I think you can even still sign up to be a test subject for it. I've heard they're doing shrooms and micro dosing for LSD as well, but I've not looked into that.
I did the esketamine at the max dose twice a week for about 5 months, and it didn't really help me once I stopped being high from it, hell I even often had suicidal thoughts during the treatment while peaking. The dr told me it works by rebuilding your neural pathways and she had seen great success since she started treating people with it, but of course it will not work for everyone. It's also really expensive if you do it the legal way cause you have to be under observation for 2 hours (if you're in the US) and it can be a hassle (at least in my case it was) to find a pharmacy that accepts insurance for the ketamine and mails it to the dr regularly, and my insurance didn't cover the observation retroactively as we had hoped for, so it was very pricy.

If you do any of these drugs, I hope you do them safely, and I hope they help you. :)

 

[Stolen Absolution]

This post breaks my heart. I've learned from experience, that most doctors are completely unhelpful. I have a sibling who was put on Cipro and Metronidazole. They suffered neurological issues that appear to possibly be permanent. The Metro seems to be the issue in their situation, and they aren't the same person anymore. I want to tell you to join the support group for it on Facebook, but truly, it might just depress you further. I joined a group after I had a serious reaction to Botox, and everyone in the group suffering and feeling helpless just made me feel worse.

I think adverse reactions happen way more often than people realize. Sometimes people don't initially realize it's the meds causing their symptoms. It's insane how quick doctors are to offer these medications and then completely deny their ability to cause damage. Never mind the hoards of people saying the same thing happened to them. Oh, and most of the time it's listed as a potential side effect, so I'm not sure how they can deny it all. They downplay the possibility of it happening, then neglect you when it does. All we are is a liability.

Now I've gone and depressed myself again. I just want to say how sorry I am you have had to go through this. I wish there is something I could do to help, but I know that's not possible. I hope you can find something to help with the pain. Best wishes to you. Please let me know if you ever want to talk.