I have severe case of hyperacusis with pain and tinnitus. I am suffering 24/7and I am basically homebound. I moved living with my parents and I am soon to leave from my dream job and accomodation as I am unable to work anymore.
I will not go into details but I have had many other health issues and I still do, but this one ruined my whole life. It eats me from the inside out and I cannot do anything about it except suffer and watch how my youth passes by.
Needles to say this lead me to my ctb decision. I have thought which would be the most appropriate way so I hurt less my parents. They are doing everything they can to help but we are all powerless unfortunately. These diseases do whatever they want.
I thought about taking N in the evening at my home. They will go to work in the morning and think I am asleep. I will have around 20 hours before being found.
I thought of going to one of my favourite places in my home town where you can see the whole town. It is in the nearby forest and not so many people go there. Maybe doing it in the evening and setting delayed emails for my parents with my location in 24 hours.
Due to my illness I am restricted when it comes to places to ctb. I want to record a video explaining everything, even though my parents already know and they are devastated they are unable to help and my mother cries a lot. They know about my ctb intentions.
Please provide any suggestions how can I do this. I am near my end. I don't want to die really. I had a beautiful life but it was ruined by some doctors who damaged my healthy ears. I never thought my ears are the one to kill me. I am not prepared to live like this and I know I would not be able to. It just feels sad to take my own life, but this seems the only possible way that the suffering will end. Because believe me guys- this is one of the worst thing that can happen to you. Really.
I will not go into details but I have had many other health issues and I still do, but this one ruined my whole life. It eats me from the inside out and I cannot do anything about it except suffer and watch how my youth passes by.
Needles to say this lead me to my ctb decision. I have thought which would be the most appropriate way so I hurt less my parents. They are doing everything they can to help but we are all powerless unfortunately. These diseases do whatever they want.
I thought about taking N in the evening at my home. They will go to work in the morning and think I am asleep. I will have around 20 hours before being found.
I thought of going to one of my favourite places in my home town where you can see the whole town. It is in the nearby forest and not so many people go there. Maybe doing it in the evening and setting delayed emails for my parents with my location in 24 hours.
Due to my illness I am restricted when it comes to places to ctb. I want to record a video explaining everything, even though my parents already know and they are devastated they are unable to help and my mother cries a lot. They know about my ctb intentions.
Please provide any suggestions how can I do this. I am near my end. I don't want to die really. I had a beautiful life but it was ruined by some doctors who damaged my healthy ears. I never thought my ears are the one to kill me. I am not prepared to live like this and I know I would not be able to. It just feels sad to take my own life, but this seems the only possible way that the suffering will end. Because believe me guys- this is one of the worst thing that can happen to you. Really.
