azucaramargo
Enlightened
- Sep 16, 2018
- 1,010
I'm 40, and still letting this shit happen. Can anyone relate--like, right now--to someone having seen you naked and done all this stuff to/with you, and lives in the same fucking town as you, but wants nothing to do with you? And, you quit your bullshit job over it? And, you started stalking the guy? I feel so much shame and embarrassment. He's out there. He's seen me at my most vulnerable, and he doesn't want any more. Why did I put myself in this spot AGAIN?!?! Like a fucking 19-year-old. "What?!?! He doesn't LOVE me?!?!" I don't wanna be so mentally ill that I do shit like this...so desperate for momentary approval that I do something that I know will hurt me. I knew I wasn't strong enough for a casual fling, and I knew that's all he wanted, but I went through with it anyway because I thought it'd work out in my favor in the end. LOVE would prevail. I hate that I let someone see me naked who never wants to see me again. I hate that. Can anyone relate?
