Venting Being tortured by my dreams

[yui.]

I wake up crying every single day because I have the most wonderful dreams every night. I don't bawl my eyes out or anything. I just let the tears roll down my face while I desperately will myself back into a distant and fleeting dream world. But eventually, I wake up. I always wake up. Every single day, I just hope I never have to wake up into this horrible world ever again. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm scared of falling asleep because I hate the feeling of realization. I dread when my brain tells me "everything was a dream." I'm so sick and tired of these stupid dreams if that's all they ever will be, just dreams. It's just too cruel.

I never feel satisfied, happy, joyful, or motivated no matter what I do in life. But in my dreams, I have everything I could ever wished for. I go on fun adventures with my friends. We solve mysteries together. We discover new worlds and people. It's all stuff that wouldn't even be possible irl. It's all so frickin' childish, and I hate myself for it. I hate being unable to feel any sort of satisfaction unless it's in a fictional universe created by my miserable imagination.

 

[BloodStainedAntlers]

I'm sorry to hear that man. Its an incredibly cruel experience to go through, especially since dreams can feel so realistic and then you wake up to actual reality just to realise its still the same bs it's always been. I rarely dream at all anymore (and when i do its genuinely almost exclusively nightmares or hyperrealistic dreams about CTB), but I used to have these amazing beautiful dreams at night of beinh happy and loved and at peace, and genuinely nothig was worse than waking up in the morning and realising that it was all just a dream after all, and that real life is still the same miserable shitshow. It sucks to get a 'taste' of what life could be like if everything wasnt so fucked up, just to be violently ripped out of that illusion and back into reality.