Being too tired to CTB?

[exhaustion]

I've been meaning to CTB for at least a few weeks now: I've gathered all the shit to do it, and have had ample time alone to do it without intervention. So why is it feel so impossible for me to drag myself out of bed to CTB? It's not a fear of dying—I don't care much about the physical pain of dying or the idea of afterlife—, but a laziness to even locate the carotid again and prep my NN device, write a goodbye letter, or delete any last embarrassing or incriminating photos/emails that I might still have. How ironic is it that my exhaustion from life has led me to want to die, but it is the same exhaustion that has physically prevented me from doing so? Does that even make sense?

 

[Life sucks]

I understand. Ctb is a physical activity that requires energy no matter what the method is. I think those who have active bodies or athletes can ctb easier.