Being told you're co-dependent in a relationship

[Jen0804]

So my partner said they're a little co dependent with me. Has anyone ever said this to you
- am I right to be upset over it? .. I don't see myself as co dependent at all.. Sure I struggle but now I feel worse. Are co dependent a generally seen as needy/controlling/ manipulative and a "taker?"

 

[SinisterKid]

Never heard the term. Just looked at it briefly and cant understand why anyone would be in a relationship if they felt that about their partner. Seems a very odd descriptor to come out with to me.

From what I can gather, in a relationship, its more about one party meeting all the needs of the relationship whilst the other tends to not give much in return.

 

[Jen0804]

Never heard the term. Just looked at it briefly and cant understand why anyone would be in a relationship if they felt that about their partner. Seems a very odd descriptor to come out with to me.

From what I can gather, in a relationship, its more about one party meeting all the needs of the relationship whilst the other tends to not give much in return.

I never understood it well sinister kid until o googled earlier and you are right the articles are pretty hurtful.. I'm not seeing that one-sidedness but maybe my fiancé really is. Kind of hurts,, hmmm... Glad you replied thank you! Maybe they really are better off without me after all if that's how they view me. I love my fiancé a lot but I don't wanna be a problem anymore

I still to this day believe both partners should 100% and 100% effort

I thought we were but maybe I really have been selfish

 

[SinisterKid]

I think that it must be very difficult for the non suicidal to see the suicidal as not selfish. The first words I heard when coming out of my coma, was a ward psych telling me I was a selfish bastard. In many ways, yes, that was and is very true, but after a lifetime of tending to put others before myself, one selfish act does not make me a co dependent.

So why would you fiance say that to you?

 

[Soul]

@Jen0804 my dear, did your partner mean it in the 12-step-program sense - that they fear that they're "enabling" you to remain unwell instead of helping you to recover? x

 

[Jen0804]

@Jen0804 my dear, did your partner mean it in the 12-step-program sense - that they fear that they're "enabling" you to remain unwell instead of helping you to recover? x

I wish it was meant that way but I thankfully don't have any dependency xxx

 

[Soul]

I wish it was meant that way but I thankfully don't have any dependency xxx

Maybe in a nonliteral sense? Your partner fears they're not helping you recover from your suicidal ideation. (((Hugs)))