Venting Being like a psychopath or being dead

[melp]

As I read in one book, even our scores in computer games are weaker due to herd behavior. I can't keep my balance. Either I don't feel anything or I'm so emotional. If I don't feel anything, I achieve results in whatever I do, but how to be happy about it. It is tiring or so boring. I'm dead inside or out. I cannot function and I suffer or function indifferently. It is rather without a senus

 

[glittergore]

It's a rough place to be in. You either find success or functionality but you don't care about it so it's pointless or you're too overwhelmed to find either while desperately wanting to. When I find myself oscillating between these two states, it's usually because I dissociate from my emotions when I'm in that more alive state, which induces that dead state and makes it difficult for me to learn how to actually cope. I'm sorry you're going through something similar.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Do you mean depression?

 

[melp]

Maybe it's just depression. Only then I don't remember living without her. Everything is always meaningless or I am immersed in some simple activities. I know it doesn't matter, but after the drugs I'm even lower. Phaltically, I can't enjoy my successes so much.

 

[Nymph]

Same, I'm either a living poker face-absolutely no emotions-empty OR a crying emotional mess

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I guess I'm somewhere in the middle. I've had a few moments of emotional breakdown in recent weeks, but mostly I just wear a mask. There is always either sadness or numbness underneath, but I can put on a really good show for others. My co-workers would have no idea. Only the people with whom I'm shared the details of my depression know my situation. Everyone else thinks I'm "perfectly normal." Hah.