Venting Being an "good actor" is tiring.

[ryla2090]

I'm just tired of acting like I'm a normal person that desires to live, and have a future. To be honest, I'm not sure how much longer that I'm going to be able to keep this facade. There's music, cooking, and games, but even they have limits. How are y'all coping with your feelings and hiding them(if you are hiding the intent to CTB)? It's just too hard for me to keep a facade of a "good son" for my parents, a "good brother" for my parents, and a "good contributor/friend" to people around me. I have a feeling that I'll crack soon, and I'm kind of afraid of that happening.
(Planning on CTB in a couple weeks, forgot to mention that.)

 

[Kill Bill]

Try and drop the act for a couple of weeks and see how you feel. May as well let it all go for 2 weeks, rather than bottling it up and taking it to the grave with you.

 

[Deleted member 17949]

It is tiring. It feels like being sad at a party; everyone around you is happy and you feel like you need to act happy to fit in but you just aren't feeling the mood there. It does get very exhausting, and since I am not much of a people person anyway it wears me out fast.

 

[Living_Hurts_so_Much]

I know exactly what you mean. I have lived my life as a lie and have been good at playing life but I'm so tired of pretending. I've tried once and some people know, but think I'm "fixed". Like I could ever fix anything about my life. I can't do it much longer.