being an aspie girl

[bijou]

i'm not sure if "aspie" is still an acceptable way to define myself, but i was just confronted by someone about a strange social situation in which i do not understand what i have done wrong (i am leaving out the context for personal reasons). are there any other aspie/asd girls on here who also grieve for their social skills? perhaps you can leave a rant down below if you wish. i'm just very exhausted about feeling alone in this. even if you are not a girl you can respond (obviously), i just know that in my experience we are treated as naive puppies or complete assholes. it often feels there is no in-between.

 

[CTB Dream]

Vry sry, know how wrld vry diff ppl no undrstnd this all act etc, but say also this many human awfl not all time slef prblm, many ppl awfl force sffr etc, v sry human alws tire intrct

 

[bijou]

Vry sry, know how wrld vry diff ppl no undrstnd this all act etc, but say also this many human awfl not all time slef prblm, many ppl awfl force sffr etc, v sry human alws tire intrct

thank you <3 you're right, maybe the way this person reacted wasn't my fault. i just feel so confused and in the dark about people's intentions

 

[ggetout33]

Well, I'm not sure if you were looking but I'm an aspie man who grieves for the potential life I lost by being born autistic. And ADD as well but that's not really the focus.

For me since I'm a man, and a big and tall one, I often feel like most NT's, especially women just see me as a creep when I never even did anything. I hate the incel mass shooters who decide they gotta blast everyone just cause some girl they obsessed over said no. They make my life harder because NT's assume guilt by association, when the only thing I would have in common with incels is being autistic and not very romantically experienced.

I spend all day sitting in my room, I wish I was more extroverted but severe bullying in childhood mentally fucked me.

Honestly, I would even go as far as to say I hate being male because of the social role I am expected to take. I've looked into whether I was trans but I never really felt like I was a woman stuck in a mans body, just hating the role I "have" to play as a dude more than anything.

Plus being trans in my small conservative state seems like a deathtrap. Sometimes I wish I was born as a hot woman but I imagine that would come with it's own set of issues. So I stick to gender non-conformity.

To add to that, I hate my brain and my genetics more than my body. I have plenty of hate for my body, specifically me being overweight. But I hate my brain more since I have suffered time and time again for my mental failures. Every day my brain holds me back without fail and I can do nothing but scream internally. ADD meds never helped, they'd just make me angrier. I've lost faith that any prescription medication would fix me. Death seems more feasible than that.

I'm rated as physically good looking but I still feel utterly hopeless in dating because of my autism. I blame the fact I'm still a virgin on neurodivergence alone I view my ADD/Autism as a curse and it's been one of the many reasons why I've refused to have children, even before the world went to hell in a handbasket in 2020.

I feel intense self-loathing day in and day out. I hate just about everything about myself and I've often struggled to see what others see in me that I don't. Why my parents wanted me when I was born. The nihilistic, doomer mindset comes to me about as naturally as breathing.

Other than that I'm a gamer and a guitarist. HMU if you want i guess.

 

[bijou]

For me since I'm a man, and a big and tall one, I often feel like most NT's, especially women just see me as a creep when I never even did anything.

thank you for sharing your experience, i really appreciate it. this is kind of the situation i got into myself, a friend perceived me to be flirting with her partner when we just shared an interest. interacting with NT women can be overwhelming to me as well because there is so much hidden subtext i don't understand (not that i dislike having female friendships, i just tend to naturally gravitate towards other ND women), NTs either treat me like a baby or a freak. then the NT men see my naivety as some kind of fetish they can creep on me about. i can see where the nihilism comes from. i've found dating within the neurotype to be more effective honestly.

hang in there, im rooting for u

 

[The anhedonic one]

I'm aspie, and am a loner now. I gave up with most social interaction because they are so damn confusing. I would make friends and then go fuck it up because I read signals wrong and would unintentionally say or do something to mess things up. It's infuriating.
Oh, I'm a dude, not a gal, if that's ok ?

 

[bijou]

I gave up with most social interaction because they are so damn confusing. I would make friends and then go fuck it up because I read signals wrong and would unintentionally say or do something to mess things up. It's infuriating.
Oh, I'm a dude, not a gal, if that's ok ?

you're right about it being confusing…my problem though is i am outgoing often to my own detriment. i love being friends with others, but it's incredibly difficult loving something i can't seem to understand. to clarify: i find it difficult to cope with the fact i want to be friends with everyone, but not a lot of people want to be friends with me and i can't understand why.

and yes, lol it's okay if ur a dude! i've just noticed there are sometimes unique challenges with being a girl in these situations, female friendships and social communication can be tumultuous sometimes.

 

[The anhedonic one]

you're right about it being confusing…my problem though is i am outgoing often to my own detriment. i love being friends with others, but it's incredibly difficult loving something i can't seem to understand. to clarify: i find it difficult to cope with the fact i want to be friends with everyone, but not a lot of people want to be friends with me and i can't understand why.

and yes, lol it's okay if ur a dude! i've just noticed there are sometimes unique challenges with being a girl in these situations, female friendships and social communication can be tumultuous sometimes.

Yes, I used to feel that a lot, especially at school, you are really nice to people but they don't like you for no logical reason.
Is that what you mean ?
If so, yes it's confusing and hurtful.

 

[bijou]

Yes, I used to feel that a lot, especially at school, you are really nice to people but they don't like you for no logical reason.
Is that what you mean ?
If so, yes it's confusing and hurtful.

yes exactly this

 

[ggetout33]

thank you for sharing your experience, i really appreciate it. this is kind of the situation i got into myself, a friend perceived me to be flirting with her partner when we just shared an interest. interacting with NT women can be overwhelming to me as well because there is so much hidden subtext i don't understand (not that i dislike having female friendships, i just tend to naturally gravitate towards other ND women), NTs either treat me like a baby or a freak. then the NT men see my naivety as some kind of fetish they can creep on me about. i can see where the nihilism comes from. i've found dating within the neurotype to be more effective honestly.

hang in there, im rooting for u

Yeah, I've never dated an autistic girl. I might give that a shot but finding one that's autistic and I would be compatible with has been a needle in a haystack.

you're right about it being confusing…my problem though is i am outgoing often to my own detriment. i love being friends with others, but it's incredibly difficult loving something i can't seem to understand. to clarify: i find it difficult to cope with the fact i want to be friends with everyone, but not a lot of people want to be friends with me and i can't understand why.

and yes, lol it's okay if ur a dude! i've just noticed there are sometimes unique challenges with being a girl in these situations, female friendships and social communication can be tumultuous sometimes.

If I may ask you, what are those social challenges ND women face? I am curious to know.