Venting Being alone on Christmas

[natori]

TLDR this is just a random rant..

This year will be the first time I spend Christmas alone. A few weeks ago my mom passed away due to a sudden brain hemorrhage and my dad and I aren't on best terms to say the least. I'm not the type of girl who goes to bigger family gatherings either, so my Christmases has consisted of me, my mom and my bf the past couple of years.

Now that my mom is no longer around it should be just me and my bf in theory, however he has started to grow more distant ever since mom passed, and I got a feeling that he's doing stuff behind my back. Some so called red flags consist of the fact that he never moved in with me even tho we've been together for over 4 years, I'm usually the one who needs to plan stuff like nights out, dinners, hang outs etc, and he's very cutesy with someone I know.

So now I'm expecting to do Christmas alone for the first time in 27 years, normally I'm perfectly fine being all alone but something just feels extra depressing being alone during such a beloved and hyped holiday. But hey maybe a nice bottle of red wine will do the trick.

Hope you all will have nice holidays whenever that time comes, cheers in the meantime.

 

[daleke]

mitski has a song about being alone on christmas, actually: .

it sucks that your boyfriend is being distant, especially with everything going on in your life. i hope you can also have a good christmas despite everything.

 

[natori]

mitski has a song about being alone on christmas, actually: .

it sucks that your boyfriend is being distant, especially with everything going on in your life. i hope you can also have a good christmas despite everything.

Thank you, I'll check the song out!

Hope you'll have a good Christmas as well c:


Edit: I liked the song a lot, it's very calm and definitely my style. I'll try to have a go at it on piano. Worst case if I can't find the sheet music I'll just improvise. Thanks for sharing!

 

[ifihadnever]

I've spent many Christmas's alone now...its sucks but I've sort of managed. I'm dreading this Christmas tho, the thought of having to go yet another Christmas alone just isn't sitting well with me. So, I do understand your upset. It isn't nice to be alone and see pictures of all these 'happy families', it's tough. I'm sorry.

 

[natori]

I've spent many Christmas's alone now...its sucks but I've sort of managed. I'm dreading this Christmas tho, the thought of having to go yet another Christmas alone just isn't sitting well with me. So, I do understand your upset. It isn't nice to be alone and see pictures of all these 'happy families', it's tough. I'm sorry.

I'll raise a glass to you my friend, hope you'll have a nice holiday.

Cheers from afar!

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry for the loss of your Mum. I suspect there may be quite a few of us on Sasu alone. We'll have to keep one another company virtually.

I must have had 20+ Christmases alone by now. I'm actually ok with it. It's a million times better than spending it with family! Now and again it feels a little odd- hearing other neighbours and families getting together but, the thought of the alternative always reminds me why.

 

[Alpacachino]

Luckily, my mother's coming home this Christmas. Unfortunately, she is coming on the 26th. Couldn't get tickets for 23rd,24th and 25th. They were already booked full. Still, she'll be here till the new year and past that.

 

[daleke]

Thank you, I'll check the song out!

Hope you'll have a good Christmas as well c:


Edit: I liked the song a lot, it's very calm and definitely my style. I'll try to have a go at it on piano. Worst case if I can't find the sheet music I'll just improvise. Thanks for sharing!

it's interesting how casually you say it, but i think it's impressive that you could improvise a song on the piano. i'm not musically talented at all so i have no clue how you would do that. just wanted to say that!

 

[natori]

I'm sorry for the loss of your Mum. I suspect there may be quite a few of us on Sasu alone. We'll have to keep one another company virtually.

I must have had 20+ Christmases alone by now. I'm actually ok with it. It's a million times better than spending it with family! Now and again it feels a little odd- hearing other neighbours and families getting together but, the thought of the alternative always reminds me why.

Thank you.

I'm glad you find peace and enjoyment from celebrating alone, I'm pretty socially anxious so I've always preferred being alone or in much smaller groups. When time comes I'll raise a glass to everyone like us who will celebrate alone and wish us all a happy holiday.

Luckily, my mother's coming home this Christmas. Unfortunately, she is coming on the 26th. Couldn't get tickets for 23rd,24th and 25th. They were already booked full. Still, she'll be here till the new year and past that.

Sucks that she couldn't make it in time, planes are a pain in the ass. Glad she will at least make it the day after and until new years c:

it's interesting how casually you say it, but i think it's impressive that you could improvise a song on the piano. i'm not musically talented at all so i have no clue how you would do that. just wanted to say that!

Growing up my parents made me play piano, but I sucked at reading sheet music. So I had to learn stuff by ear and figure out which note/chord sounds the same. It's only in recent years where I actually sat down and tried learning how to read sheet music properly.

Thanks for the kind words c:

 

[underairpressure]

I'm used to spending Christmas alone, but it still hurts if I think too much about it. Not specifically about the holiday, just the fact that other people are getting to spend time with their loved ones and are making good memories, while I do Nothing.

Also...... I'm sorry to hear about your mom OP. It's extremely tough, losing a parent, especially when you're fairly young. Christmas also basically ended for me when my mom passed away.

 

[natori]

I'm used to spending Christmas alone, but it still hurts if I think too much about it. Not specifically about the holiday, just the fact that other people are getting to spend time with their loved ones and are making good memories, while I do Nothing.

Also...... I'm sorry to hear about your mom OP. It's extremely tough, losing a parent, especially when you're fairly young. Christmas also basically ended for me when my mom passed away.

Thank you for your kind words and my condolences to you as well.

I hope I'll get used to it as well, better not to think about it that much I guess. I mean hey, at least we got each other here on SaSu c:

 

[Baisley]

I am sorry to hear about your mom passing away. I wish, I could trade spots with her. I have family for Christmas but I am still dreading Christmas. I am not in the spirit for it and I really don't have the $$$ for it. Just try to make the best of Christmas and you have support here on SaSu.