Venting Being a childless, single 25 yo woman with no career in 2022

[Insomniac]

you're seen as totally useless and old. everyone looks down on you like wasted potential.

 

[theboy]

Do not worry about it. They are just social standards of what "should have or do" at a certain age.

 

[Funeralprincess]

Once you hit 25 and haven't achieved those things, it'll only get harder to achieve them the older you get especially in this day and age

 

[LeavingEarly]

you're seen as totally useless and old. everyone looks down on you like wasted potential.

Most of my previous friends started having kids in their late 20s and 30s.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Not many people are having kids by 25 these days. It's fine to be single too. Really don't think you should worry about those things for at least another 10 years. Or do you just live in a really conservative country?

 

[Insomniac]

Most of my previous friends started having kids in their late 20s and 30s.

I live in a country that puts marriage and children above everything. But they'll forgive you for a while if you at least have a career. I don't have a career. I'm totally worthless here.

On top of that, I'm seen as hysterical because of history of anxiety, depression, self-harm and breaking things...

Or do you just live in a really conservative country?

I do..

 

[hungry_ghost]

Having children in this time in history where we're heading towards a Great Depression 2.0 and a possible WW3 is one of the most idiotic, if not monstrous things one could do.

If anything, consider yourself lucky.

Luke 23:29 - "For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck."

 

[Foresight]

I live in a country that puts marriage and children above everything. But they'll forgive you for a while if you at least have a career. I don't have a career. I'm totally worthless here.

On top of that, I'm seen as hysterical because of history of anxiety, depression, self-harm and breaking things...

I do..

Yea, this matter is deeply cultural. In the US there's less of an issue.

 

[akana]

its never even crossed my mind that being childless at 25 or single or either of those things be bad. thats an amazing thing.
freedom to do whatever the hell you want - i guess it depends on your context or view of life. 25 is still very very young imo but I guess not for everyone.

times are changing a lot that's a blessing

 

[Messgram]

not having kids is right choice to do, i will never be ashamed of It. At least i saved someone else from coming into this fucked up world and ending up like me or worse

Having children in this time in history where we're heading towards a Great Depression 2.0 and a possible WW3 is one of the most idiotic, if not monstrous things one could do.

If anything, consider yourself lucky.

Luke 23:29 - "For, behold, the days are coming, in the which they shall say, Blessed are the barren, and the wombs that never bare, and the paps which never gave suck."

And the scariest part is that compared to the past, our time is the "easier", in the old days people had to deal with racism, slavery, disease and wars on a much larger scale. This world has always been hell and should never have continued or even existed. If I could make one wish right now it would be for everyone to be barren.

 

[KQuotientW]

Would studying be helpful? Is there something you've always wanted to learn? With no kids you have the freedom to do whatever you want to do or study for as long as you want to; maybe become proficient and an expert in a certain area. If it's costly and not government subsidised where you live, there are many free courses online now, and from universities / colleges around the world. MOOC, open courseware, open learning, free courses, Future Learn, Khan Academy, Udemy, EdX, etc. I hope that is helpful.

 

[Bigpink]

25 is so young.

 

[obafgkm]

Do not worry about it. They are just social standards of what "should have or do" at a certain age.

Society is just a religion. Once you are in there is no way out (without death threats or curses). You are pressured by peers and authorities to perpetuate the sufferings to many generations to come.

 

[Insomniac]

you're seen as totally useless and old. everyone looks down on you like wasted potential.

View attachment 2022_07_30_09_46_44_Child.mp3

 

[Maríasp]

In my country it is more and more normal to have children over 30, I am from Spain, I believe that parenthood is not a. requirement to have a good life

 

[DarkNearDeath]

you're seen as totally useless and old. everyone looks down on you like wasted potential.

This exactly how I feel, I'm only a year younger than you, we're on the same boat

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

You are a very young

 

[Julgran]

you're seen as totally useless and old. everyone looks down on you like wasted potential.

Isn't the core of these problems - which many people suffer from - that we simply didn't have the right role models and the correct expectations of life...? I mean, I could also be deemed a "loser", since I haven't achieved much in life, but absolutely no one told me the things about adult life that I have learned on my own during the last few years.

I'm sure that this goes for both men and women.

 

[Insomniac]

I'm sure that this goes for both men and women

I didn't say that kind of suffering/experience was exclusively to women only.

I live in an extremely conservative muslim country so my experience is just different. I'm not allowed to drive or go out at night for example. and I'm 25. I have a drivers licence just for appearance, my parents never trusted a car to me and am forced to use our personal driver whenever I need to go out (even when I feel like being alone, I'm stuck having to use the chauffeur).

I should have mentioned that in my original post because many people are assuming that I'm from a western country.

 

[Julgran]

I didn't say that kind of suffering/experience was exclusively to men only.

I live in an extremely conservative muslim country so my experience is just different. I'm not allowed to drive or go out at night for example. and I'm 25. I have a drivers licence just for appearance, my parents never trusted a car to me and am forced to use our personal driver whenever I need to go out (even when I feel like being alone, I'm stuck having to use the chauffeur).

I should have mentioned that in my original post because many people are assuming that I'm from a western country.

No worries

What you are describing sounds oppressive, but it also sounds like your family is accepting of those circumstances. Judging from your subsequent post, this is a cultural issue.

Since your country seems to be so conservative, though, I wonder why it's so important for a woman to have a career, because that's not how the right-wing conservatives in the west expect women to be, usually.