Venting Been thinking about this a lot recently

[Cauliflour]

Suppose it's the newest thing on the mental health sushi conveyer. It's hard to think when the mind keeps conflicting.

(Want to clarify though that it's more a general longing of a special someone rather than sex itself as it's not in my character to hook up because I'm very paranoid about people seeing parts of my personality and just being a general lame person)

My plan is to write a letter to her saying that I've had a crush on her for a couple months but I don't want to ask her her out because I rightfully have shit self esteem and she deserves better. Not to mention I would be a shit girlfriend because I'm an autistic weirdo that doesn't know how to socialise at all. Like normal people my age are passed the first kiss stage and are losing their virginity and all I have are no friends, no care for friends (apart from said crush) and a hacked 3DS with pirated games on.

God I'm gonna be like 40 eventually and people are going to be raising kids and I'm still gonna be inside at my computer with no bodies to count, not even kisses and nobody would want to bother with me and I'll never find someone who I can be fully honest with and put down the facade.

Not that anybody cares about relationship crap and this is probably tmi but I can see it now. And lesbian porn is shit and info on female sexuality is shit so I'll be bloody terrible at it.

 

[wantingdignity]

Sending you love. I really don't want you to be so hard on yourself. It can be true that you really want love and affection, but that you also don't think you're ready for a relationship. That doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you - that's something that you can work on and will change over time.

I just got out of a really long relationship. He was not good to me. I am really lonely and I want a new relationship, but I am not ready for it yet. I might be able to do a casual relationship soon, but it will unfortunately be at least a year before I'll be ready to try a serious relationship again. I'm still in love with him, even though he was an asshole. I'm also really emotionally vulnerable and would not be able to regulate myself in a new relationship right now.

I'm also bisexual. I've been with a man for so long, but am interested in dating women. It will be the first time that I will actually sleep with a woman, since I've only ever slept with my boyfriend. I feel a lot of anxiety and excitement about the possibilities too.