Venting Been a loner my whole life

[The Disqualified]

I am all alone. Such superficial relationships I have. No one I can really trust. I always sat alone at school, while the other kids went to play together. Ever since my early days I was a loner. By myself.

My social anxiety ruined my life, it prevented me from having a normal life as a child and teenager. Even today it still hurts me and prevents me from functioning as a human being. I just wish I wasn't like this, so neurodivergent. I've always been kind and candid, without second intentions or the malice of human beings, but I've gained nothing except defeat and rejection. It really stings, but I kept moving anyway. Now I feel broken to the core, all the scars remain.

I have no social life, don't go to parties, and no love life whatsoever. I have no idea how to actually live a normal life or sync with human society. I have no idea what the point of everything is and why people act the way they do. I don't see myself living in the future. I just don't. There's no future for me.

There is no way out for me. Suicide is the only way out.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Same, but the few rare times i made the mistake of actually having irl friends and or trying to go for a relationship, it's all groomers or narcissist abusers. Kill me lol.

 

[v0wkeeper]

feel the same, though being lonely is a much better option than being surrounded by a group of people who pretend to care about you.

 

[CleanGopher]

Same, but the few rare times i made the mistake of actually having irl friends and or trying to go for a relationship, it's all groomers or narcissist abusers. Kill me lol.

I only have 1 trust worthy friend, my one friend of like 7 years barely talks to me and can't even give empathy , I saw some things on the website "Lost all hope" and now I'm looking like an idiot, after a past year of continuously gutting my future due to judgement when I realize now no one cares lmao , basically suicidal attempts vs. succession on the site "lost all hope", made me to conclude that it's not my answer, due to if the attempt that's made that's not successful will likely cause it to affect my life to be worse than better, which makes suicide in my view pointless, which is lame but it's whatever :>

 

[favouriteworstnight]

i feel like i wrote this… there is no way i'm gonna get better, i remember feeling awkward since i was like 7 and it never got any better. even with therapy and medications, i think i wasn't built for this world

 

[DarkFriend.]

At least in isolation there is sincerity.

 

[Green_leaf]

I have no social life, don't go to parties, and no love life whatsoever. I have no idea how to actually live a normal life or sync with human society. I have no idea what the point of everything is and why people act the way they do. I don't see myself living in the future. I just don't. There's no future for me.

There is no way out for me. Suicide is the only way out.

Sounds like my black metal life back in the day, but without alcohol.

 

[voc_89]

At least in isolation there is sincerity.

Damn right. Silence doesn't backstab, plot against you, use what you say or do against u. Praise be to loneliness. That said, staring into the void is not for everyone. Especislly when u hate yourself. Can make your anxiety worse. At least u know u have a judge free community here.

 

[Celerity]

In the same kind of boat, ultimately. Social anxiety has lessened a lot since my teens and 20s. It doesn't really affect me like it did. This hasn't made me much better at dealing with people though.

It's still the same old shit - people trying to take advantage, to disrespect me; others who seem like they care and then ghost; more who just gradually fade away because we really have nothing in common when it comes right down to it.

Aside from my parents, it's hard to imagine keeping someone in my life for years on end. Hasn't worked yet. I fell in love once. Of course, it was one-sided. I don't expect it to happen again, thankfully. I don't see a future where I don't end up alone.



Some of us are just built different. We're less likely special snowflakes and more like mangled silverware.