Becoming completely unsensitive to life

[LostSoul1609]

The more I get closer to my ctb date the more unsensitive I become to life, nothing makes sense anymore, I don't crave anything, I'm not sad I don't feel love anymore, I'm not even angry or passionate about anything anymore. I always thought that the more you get closer to suicide the broghter the world gets because your unconscious doesn't want you to die, turns out it's the opposite. Anyone feels the same?

 

[TooConscious]

It really is shit isn't it mate. Hope you find your content state.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

This actually makes sense. Long term depression and hopelessness can wear away at your will to live resulting in an indifference towards life. Nothing holds any joy or interest anymore simply because it doesn't matter to how you want to be.

 

[Disappointered]

I think that's a good place to be, like, you've accepted it and are okay with it so now why waste emotional energy on this disappointing world? Also sounds sort of like the second stage of "psychogenic death" they call apathy.

 

[shijsrzh]

Yeah. This reaction sets in as a last resort of the psyche to protect itself. I't a known phenomenon in psychology. It's when you suffer unbearably, and it goes on for too long.
And it makes sense. When there is nothing you can do and the suffering is excruciating, the logical thing to do is to cut the ties to life/reality, dissociate. Or at least deaden sensation and feelings. It's the reason why people have anhedonia.

 

[WornOutLife]

I felt kinda like you when I tried to ctb last year.
I was just calm, maybe a little happy and excited about dying but overall, I was just not interested in this life and people in this world anymore.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Yes, and it makes killing myself very difficult since I just stand up from the pain of partial.

 

[FuneralCry]

This is exactly how I feel. All my life I have felt empty and unable to gain any pleasure from this existence. It's as if there is an empty void inside of me. It makes sense as we all live empty existences anyway we just live to die. I thought everyone felt this way for a large part of my life. It's like being dead but still concious.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Sometimes the experiences encountered in life can slowly wear you down mentally like a weathered statue. At first a small amount of energy is expended to deal with whatever issues that are being faced, and this is normal. But if those issues become too much they can build up; more and more of your willpower is used just trying to stay afloat. Eventually you collapse.

This can be the reason why a person becomes desensitized to life, because they simply do not have the emotional resources to even acknowledge their surroundings; just as in the same way a lack of sleep can cause a person to become drowsy. This is totally okay too, it is what happens when a situation is overwhelming.

 

[EraseRewind]

I think that must be it, I have complete acceptance of every situation in life and nothing is breaking through, I must be becoming desensitised to life and I can't say it's bad, as my time comes nearer I feel whatever the outcome it will be the right one for me.

The people around me are relaxing and getting on with their lives and it's good to see, I feel that they will miss me but might accept I've gone to a better place.

It's not perfect and I still have my moments and bad times but I'm concealing them much better. Yay to being desensitised

 

[JGT1]

I'm more Risk taking. I shouldn't but I don't care anymore

 

[Aeathelina]

The closer I get to death the more I don't give a fuck or I get invested in something. 50- 50 with me when it comes to this. Right now I'm working on my plan to CTB but simultaneously actually getting sober and working more on my mental health. I plan to CTB by my 27th birthday but I want to tie up these loose ends before I go.
You know, make peace with my life and death

 

[suicide4me]

Absolutely. I feel the exact same. I feel completely numb to the world and to feeling anything at all. I don't feel love, I don't care about things that are happening in the world that I should, There is absolutely zero brightness to the world in my eyes. i am however very bright eyed and happy when I think about leaving it - and I will be leaving it in the rather near future. I flip flopped enough and now is my time to make my exit and find my peace. That makes me happy