Because of my age

[Theodora]

I don't know if this sounds really pathetic but I just don't want to deal with another day my birthday is in 20 days and I'm going to turn 20 the fear literally terrifies me I have no idea why .. maybe because I've done nothing in my life !! I feel old and there's no point anymore

 

[Lastsauce]

Happy birthday!
I'm old, you are not!
Time flies sometimes unexpectedly fast, so enjoy your youth any way you can while you have it.
I still remember my 20th birthday like it was only almost 19 years ago!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

Happy birthday!
I'm old, you are not!
Time flies sometimes unexpectedly fast, so enjoy your youth any way you can while you have it.
I still remember my 20th birthday like it was only almost 19 years ago!

No intention to invalidate you as a person, but that comment was pretty invalidating.

Just think, if you want to, how would you have received that when you were 20? Personally, I'd have found it irritating. I'm inherently the same person at 49 as I was at 20, only better at being who I am, but no more valid than I was then. I still knew some shit, and I knew my own thoughts and emotions.

Of course OP can defend herself, and please know I sincerely don't mean to attack you but to say, Hey, I had a response to that, and I hope you'll hear in it both my logic and my heart. I don't think you intend to act out of meanness, and I'm sending no meanness your way.

 

[Huntfish34]

I don't think its pathetic ... You are just going to be Quite young if and when you decide to ctb. You're life.... You're Choice, just Please be mindful and think about everything before you choose to do so. Take care, ❤

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

I don't know if this sounds really pathetic but I just don't want to deal with another day my birthday is in 20 days and I'm going to turn 20 the fear literally terrifies me I have no idea why .. maybe because I've done nothing in my life !! I feel old and there's no point anymore

I'm not far off from you in age. I am 22. I felt the way you felt when I was 13. For me, as I get older I feel that, thanks to trauma, I am behind where so many other 20 something year olds are. I feel so pathetic

 

[Deleted member 19276]

There was a time where I did nothing but wish I never made it past my 20ies... Sadly, time went by and all I can do now is have regrets. I understand your fears and I would understand why someone would not wish to cross that line.

 

[Anonymoussn]

Lots of people are having kids and getting married later and later now. So 20 really leaves you with plenty of time to do lots of exciting things. If you wanted to, you could spend the next 15-20 years travelling, and youd still have time to get married, have kids and carve out a career for yourself.

You dont have to do any of those things, and I'm not saying that's the right thing to do. But my point is, the possibilities are endless and you still have time to do whatever it is you want to achieve.

I'm suddenly aware whilst typing this on which forum this has been posted - so I dont know whether any of this is what you want. But theoretically as a 20 year old, you still could have plenty of time if you were happy to do so.

You've probably spent most of your life in education up until now, so whilst you say you've done nothing in your life, you're just getting into the stage where doors open, and where you actually have the freedom to do the things you want to do. You're just getting into the start of the 20 year window where people typically do the most interesting things in their life.

But having said all of that, getting older is something that a lot of people worry about, and what you are feeling is absolutely natural.

 

[snuffcore]

I'm in a similar place as you... My 20th birthday is in 6 months, and honestly, even thinking about it makes me sick. I didn't even want to make it to 18 and yet I'm still here, wasting another year and everyone's time.

 

[laertes_voula]

No matter the age, some people older than you will likely always think you are too young to feel the way you do. I don't think what you're feeling is pathetic. It's far better to be honest about what you're feeling than invalidating it and feeling ridiculous...at least once you own it, you're in a better position to be spurred on to do something about it, if you actually do feel there might be some things you still want to achieve with life. All the best

 

[Lastsauce]

No intention to invalidate you as a person, but that comment was pretty invalidating.

Just think, if you want to, how would you have received that when you were 20? Personally, I'd have found it irritating.

Hi, no offense taken at all.
I just tought if she thinks turning 20 is the end of the world she might benefit from different perspective, even if lame one.
I'm just not good at sosializing, even in writing.

 

[KibblesNBits]

I don't know if this sounds really pathetic but I just don't want to deal with another day my birthday is in 20 days and I'm going to turn 20 the fear literally terrifies me I have no idea why .. maybe because I've done nothing in my life !! I feel old and there's no point anymore

I'm not trying to invalidate how you feel because you know your own mind better than anyone else. However, I will say that I felt the same way at 20 and I made several mistakes because of it. I figured life was over at that age and it was okay to slack off on important maintenance (ie: my physical health). Ten years later, I could kick myself. 20 was plenty young enough to turn things around, I just didn't see it at the time. Now, at 30, I am suffering the consequences. I thought it was bad then, ooh boy, I had no idea.

That being said, I don't know what your situation is. If I knew for sure my situation was unavoidable, I'd have offed myself back then I think. But I have the gut feeling I could have dramatically improved my life's lot had I done things differently and that bothers me a lot.

 

[Theodora]

Thankyou everyone I feel so welcome here

 

[MorticiasHair]

I don't know if this sounds really pathetic but I just don't want to deal with another day my birthday is in 20 days and I'm going to turn 20 the fear literally terrifies me I have no idea why .. maybe because I've done nothing in my life !! I feel old and there's no point anymore

I don't know if this sounds really pathetic but I just don't want to deal with another day my birthday is in 20 days and I'm going to turn 20 the fear literally terrifies me I have no idea why .. maybe because I've done nothing in my life !! I feel old and there's no point anymore

oh no, my dear. I'm 35 and i could be your mother. joking aside, you are very young and pretty. you still have a lot of things ahead of you. of course it is your own decision, but i can't help but recommend very young people to try to keep fighting. it can be worth it.

 

[Grey-zone]

Hi, no offense taken at all.
I just tought if she thinks turning 20 is the end of the world she might benefit from different perspective, even if lame one.
I'm just not good at sosializing, even in writing.

Indeed. I'm 29 and now feel like an aging meatsack. I remember at 19 pretending to be 20. Hah. If only I'd lived the last 10 years differently. You said you're 39? That's not especially old either. Mid-age is considered to begin at 45, per the OED and government statistics. What am I saying? There's hope, I think. But how to live a life is the biggest question.

 

[NorthernStar]

I still remember my 20th birthday like it was only almost 19 years ago!

This took me way, way too long to figure out in my head. Then again, I'm 8 years older than Lastsauce and they say that the mind is the first thing to go.

I don't remember my 20th birthday but I most certainly remember my 19th birthday. I got broken up with a guy I was really into and it fucking sucked. My perspective looking back on the event? It fucking sucked!

Life can suck no matter your age and you can feel overwhelmed and anxious and insecure about your future any or every year of your life. It's a day-to-day battle just to make it around the sun. Best of luck to you, OP.

 

[Bct]

It doesn't sound pathetic at all. I'll be 27 this year but already feels really old. It's normal to be anxious about future, especially if we feel we haven't accomplished anything. Some may say you're too young to die & there are still chances to change your life, but those feel like people who throw empty platitudes like "Life will get better" because it's easier to screw someone's life instead of the opposite. Especially if we don't know the person's circumstance.

Wish you luck in whatever you choose.