Bad reason to cbt?

[PinkKitty]

I'm in my last semester of university and I don't want to go to class or do my homework. I've been suicidal for years and kept making new goal posts to reach before doing it. Lately, I'd been thinking that I'd do it once I graduated. Or after finishing grad school.

but sometimes, especially tonight, waiting feels so pointless. Like I'm gonna die anyways so what does it matter what I accomplish before I do it. Additionally, school is a bitch bc I have no motivation or will to do any of my homework. I have so much stuff due tomorrow and I don't want to do any of it. Which has led to me just laying in bed for hours contemplating end it tonight. I already have SN just don't have any antiemetics.
But then I feel like I'm being immature like not wanting to do my hmw is a bad last straw to have. But at the same time, I'm miserable and completely overwhelmed. Can anyone relate? Feeling very conflicted.

 

[2011.HondaCivic]

I strongly relate to this feeling. Sometimes I look at the work I have to do, and the amount of school I have left and just think "what even is the point?" It even goes further when I think about having to actually work. While I recently got a job and have my first day later this week, just thinking about having to work makes me want to CTB for whatever reason. I wish I could over you some help, but at least you know someone feels similar to yourself

 

[FuneralCry]

There is no such thing as a bad reason to ctb. We have the right to take our lives at a time of our choosing, it is our lives and it is our decision. It isn't like we are obligated to stay alive. Your feelings are understandable, when I was in education I struggled with it and had no motivation. The pressure associated with it made me want to ctb. I have always seen everything as pointless, as all we are doing is waiting around for death anyway. I wish you well.