Spiny Lobster
Member
- Jul 16, 2020
- 53
I got discharged after around a week of being there, and while they set up appointments for me and started a new medication, I am bummed out that I feel the same. It's not reassuring to come from the hospital already thinking of new ways to off oneself. I just wish something bad would happen to me already, because evidently I can't finish the job, myself. I'm just in too much of a mental fog to think clearly and execute any one plan. I view my life as a miserable, pitiful thing that only death can release me from. Yet I'm too scared to do anything about it!
There's always talk of having to want to feel better, but I just don't feel like it. I view myself as inherently defective, therefore it isn't worth it in the long run to feel better now if I'm just going to have to die later.
Back to the point of being discharged and feeling the same, it's kind of sad that not even medical professionals have the answers or even the ability to stabilize one's condition. My journey to get better is my responsibility and not the hospital's. It just kind of sucks that I don't want to get better.
There's always talk of having to want to feel better, but I just don't feel like it. I view myself as inherently defective, therefore it isn't worth it in the long run to feel better now if I'm just going to have to die later.
Back to the point of being discharged and feeling the same, it's kind of sad that not even medical professionals have the answers or even the ability to stabilize one's condition. My journey to get better is my responsibility and not the hospital's. It just kind of sucks that I don't want to get better.
