Hi and here I'm again trying to voice out the noise in my head or to at least make sense of it, lately I've been thinking about a quote "we accept the love we think we deserve" I want more from my life yet I don't know what direction I should be going or what to do.
My relationship with my dad is mostly estranged I would say since I choice to reject all religion but he still dragged me to Friday prayer, I have been trying to get him to accept the fact that I'm not going to accept religion for years and to just avoid a argument I have been relenting for years going back and forward with him, and I hate the fact that everyone in my life which is just my blood related family think I'm not doing enough, my family have a terrible habit of normalizing problems my older siblings got out and are doing well which makes me happy for them.
I can't remember my childhood too well when I think about it, it's just my parents fighting and arguing over the past and everything which is one of the problems in my family my parents don't ever settle anything they just go on cool down and as soon as anything out of routine happens it's back to fighting.
To be honest or if I think at least that I'm being honest I'm hoping that I don't know how to describe it or to put it in words but I want to be better just so that for once I can breath easily.
My relationship with my dad is mostly estranged I would say since I choice to reject all religion but he still dragged me to Friday prayer, I have been trying to get him to accept the fact that I'm not going to accept religion for years and to just avoid a argument I have been relenting for years going back and forward with him, and I hate the fact that everyone in my life which is just my blood related family think I'm not doing enough, my family have a terrible habit of normalizing problems my older siblings got out and are doing well which makes me happy for them.
I can't remember my childhood too well when I think about it, it's just my parents fighting and arguing over the past and everything which is one of the problems in my family my parents don't ever settle anything they just go on cool down and as soon as anything out of routine happens it's back to fighting.
To be honest or if I think at least that I'm being honest I'm hoping that I don't know how to describe it or to put it in words but I want to be better just so that for once I can breath easily.
