just wanted to chime in and say that i can understand where you're coming from (i'm a bpd girlie through and through lol), and have definitely felt similarly at times. hell, it's embarassing in retrospect, but there was a time where i was cutting myself (and not trying to hide it, like, at all) to try to prevent a partner from breaking up with me (which did NOT work, lol), i've also had several "failed attempts", which i knew weren't gonna work, in hopes of any sympathetic response (inevitably short lived, if any).
life is so fucking hard, and people can sometimes make it so much harder; if nothing else, just know you're welcome here, and your defs not alone in the feeling.
