Attempting recovery

[dec132013]

I've been wanting to ctb for the past 7 years. I can't remember what it's like to actually have aspirations beyond having a painless death, but recently I found a career I think I'd actually like doing and want to give it a shot.

It feels so weird to think of myself existing past the present day, even just wanting to have a future is completely unknown to me, feel disgustingly old just thinking about it. Don't know how well this is gonna go given the state of the world rn, but I'm going to aim for not allowing myself to even think of plans to ctb for 6 months. I'll be back April 14th to update how successful it was, if it actually went well I'll follow up w everything I did in case anyone else needs ideas.

 

[224]

I am very proud of u!!

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Good for you! It's a brave thing to do, giving yourself another shot at life! I hope you succeed!

 

[NeverEndingProblem]

Hope your new found career aspirations work for you.

 

[MrBigSad]

Best of luck! :) I know this forum isn't good for getting your mind off of ctb but there's always recovery threads and the chat if you feel lonely or just want a place to vent.

Hope it goes well.

 

[HelloHell]

Good luck! Hope all goes well!

 

[Red]

Good luck and happy livings!
Really hope everything works out for you

 

[MichaelNomad123]

Good luck buddy. Remember to be easy on yourself on your new path. The road is uncertain and you will stumble. It's important to remind yourself when you do that your disappointment or your hurt is not forever. Be kind to yourself. Taking breaks is okay. Being depressed is okay. Sometimes you have to take a seat at the side of the road and catch your breath. It's all part of the process.