Atracción?

[O_oreo.]

I found the perfect word and the perfect question to my situation (among others), do I have some sort of magnet or attraction to abusive people, because if so, man, I'm screwed.
and I'm looking for the answer to that, some "logical and not generalized" explanation or is it a punishment or a karma I've been paying, honestly karma maybe exists but it can't be ruining your life-.

especially without knowing what the hell you did in your past life.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I wouldnt be so rash as to say your attraction type is due to some karma you may have accumulated in a past life. We are shaped by our genes and our environment after all so it could be something tangible in those types of people that attract you based on your psychology and it may not have to do with the abuse itself. For example, Many people find boldness and audaciousness as attractive traits but maybe most people who embody those attributes are the bad boy/girl types which often can be problematic. I think this is something that therapy can help dissect and get to the bottom of. I wish you well

 

[O_oreo.]

do you talk about a trait that attracts that kind of person?

therapy has not helped me much, maybe it is one of my traits that I am very sensitive to what is good and bad.

 

[motel rooms]

Did your parents treat you like shit as a kid? Do you have low self-esteem? That's how people end up developing an attraction to abusive assholes. Karma doesn't have shit to do with anything.

Many people find boldness and audaciousness as attractive traits but maybe most people who embody those attributes are the bad boy/girl types which often can be problematic.

There's a big difference between boldness & abusiveness...

 

[Le_Dauphin]

I found the perfect word and the perfect question to my situation (among others), do I have some sort of magnet or attraction to abusive people, because if so, man, I'm screwed.
and I'm looking for the answer to that, some "logical and not generalized" explanation or is it a punishment or a karma I've been paying, honestly karma maybe exists but it can't be ruining your life-.

especially without knowing what the hell you did in your past life.

I'm going through ~precisely~ the same thing. I'm gay and I fell for this straight guy who just takes all my money and then treats me like a street rat, especially in front of others. I always knew I was ugly, but through him, I was forced to realize just how otherworldly disgusting my face and body actually are! After a lot of reading and watching psychologists and authors lecturing on Youtube, I came to the conclusion that this phenomenon occurs due to the fact that my adoptive mother utterly detests me, and that that caused my mind to mistake absolute loath from people with some weird type of "love".

 

[little helpers]

I'm gay and I fell for this straight guy

that's the heart of the problem, dude.

 

[Ashu]

Did your parents treat you like shit as a kid? Do you have low self-esteem? That's how people end up developing an attraction to abusive assholes. Karma doesn't have shit to do with anything.

On the contrary, what you're describing is precisely karma, which was an often misunderstood concept even in ancient India, never mind the modern West.

There's a big difference between boldness & abusiveness...

 

[motel rooms]

On the contrary, what you're describing is precisely karma, which was an often misunderstood concept even in ancient India, never mind the modern West.

Okay, I'll bite. Tell me what karma really is. Is it just the mundane, easily observable psychological fact that all human actions have consequences (that OP is attracted to abusers because they were abused in some way as a child & they're still a victim with low self-esteem) or a fancy spiritual concept associated with unprovable fanciful stuff like reincarnation & eventual reunification of the soul with the Godhead/Eternal Reality or both?

 

[Snake of Eden]

On the contrary, what you're describing is precisely karma, which was an often misunderstood concept even in ancient India, never mind the modern West.

This could potentially be very harmful and dangerous to attribute causes of real life issues to some unreachable metaphysical concepts let alone advising others to do the same. The OP is free to believe whatever they choose to believe in but when they clearly reach out to convey being uncertain as to why they feel the way they do, and they suspect it to be some irrational cause that has nothing that can be done about it whatsever (cuz past life is in the past and you cant change the past duh?!), people should not reach out to them to validate their irrational beliefs as the true cause of their problems. Especially when it is so obvious it is a psychological problem in nature that have been studied and referenced thoroughly in the established literature.

Also how easy is it exactly to deduce that someone is having a past life related issue that is affecting their present life when they only wrote one simple paragraph to explain their situation? Dont specialists who diagnose karmic past life stuff need at least to use some sort of diagnostic questionnaire and criteria?

 

[O_oreo.]

I've seen a youtube channel that talks about abusive relationships and it says that people who r codependent are unconsciously attracted to abusive people. check the youtube channel bellow

The Four Things That Heal BPD and NPD Abuse

thank you, if this is the case, I will watch the channel.