Venting At a crossroads

[pudds]

I have SN , metoclopramide, and ibuprofen. Only the antacids are missing but that's because I don't think I need them. I have the stuff but I am still a bit hesitant, because I still have hope that maybe things might turn out better for me.

Though whenever I start to get comfortable living my life and being happy, things turn to shit. They're brought out through a mix of my own mistakes and just straight up being unlucky. Now it's like I have to be in a constant state of paranoia and vigilance... and it feels so fucking awful.

Now I don't know what to do , whether to keep moving forward or to ctb before I end up making things worse for me and others? I don't think I can ever truly change myself for the better fast enough to prevent myself from fucking up majorly or for things somehow to get worse, I don't know for sure..

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you are suffering. I know that it is dreadful when things just get worse. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Chiisai]

I feel you. If need be, take some time to think things through. I hope you will find the peace you're looking for in whatever decision you make.