FromPortugalWithLov
Member
- Jul 7, 2026
- 6
Before becoming a burden and while people still remember the good times I think suicide is the option.
I want my loved ones to remember me from the good moments not slowly and surely becoming an empty pile of despair and shell of a human.
So If I take my life sooner rather than later at least they will still have fond memories of me and they can still smile while thinking of me and not just remember the useless looser I am becoming as gender dysphoria slowly but surely removes everything positive I was or had.
It just makes sense. I've written 4 letters where I ask for forgiveness and say goodbye to 4 different people. I still have like 6 more to go. I just wish I hadn't told 2 of my friends I was feeling like this, because now they might feel guiltier than they would originally if they simply didn't know my happiness is gone and that I want to die.
I'm thinking that In the letter directed to those 2 friends I will ask them for forgiveness and thank them for their support that they made being alive a bit more bearable and made me stay here longer but that in the end there was nothing that could be done.
It will still suck for them but maybe a bit less?
Its funny that people say that suicidal people aren't thinking clearly but I have never been clearer about something in my life.
My happiness is realistically gone as realising my brain thinks I'm not a guy has destroyed everything I've cherished. If I do act on this then my life will be significantly worse. I will be hated, rejected, abandoned and problably attacked.
And since I did experience quite a bit of happiness in the past which is now forever gone, taking my own life is realistically a good decision all things considered. I've experienced enough of the world to understand that if it's going to get much worse then there's really no point.
Notice by my writing how I am not in despair, I'm making a purely rational choice. My life is gone and so am I. Simple as that.
I want my loved ones to remember me from the good moments not slowly and surely becoming an empty pile of despair and shell of a human.
So If I take my life sooner rather than later at least they will still have fond memories of me and they can still smile while thinking of me and not just remember the useless looser I am becoming as gender dysphoria slowly but surely removes everything positive I was or had.
It just makes sense. I've written 4 letters where I ask for forgiveness and say goodbye to 4 different people. I still have like 6 more to go. I just wish I hadn't told 2 of my friends I was feeling like this, because now they might feel guiltier than they would originally if they simply didn't know my happiness is gone and that I want to die.
I'm thinking that In the letter directed to those 2 friends I will ask them for forgiveness and thank them for their support that they made being alive a bit more bearable and made me stay here longer but that in the end there was nothing that could be done.
It will still suck for them but maybe a bit less?
Its funny that people say that suicidal people aren't thinking clearly but I have never been clearer about something in my life.
My happiness is realistically gone as realising my brain thinks I'm not a guy has destroyed everything I've cherished. If I do act on this then my life will be significantly worse. I will be hated, rejected, abandoned and problably attacked.
And since I did experience quite a bit of happiness in the past which is now forever gone, taking my own life is realistically a good decision all things considered. I've experienced enough of the world to understand that if it's going to get much worse then there's really no point.
Notice by my writing how I am not in despair, I'm making a purely rational choice. My life is gone and so am I. Simple as that.
