Venting Are you ugly? How has it affected your social life?

[rotthjärta]

Are you ugly? How has it affected your social life? - tell me I would like to know.

I consider myself below average based on my features and how my life has been. It starts really young when people begin to make comments behind your back or just flat out tell you. You also see it in how people treat you or how not many people approach you. So when you pair ugly and a weird personality and on top of that being a girl its like you created the worse sin of your life now everyone has to punish you for it.

Im not a guy so I don't understand that side of things, I really dont want to say that its worse for men or women because thats subjective and also I believe it depends in what topics, also its stupid fucking fight like come on.

The reason I bring up Im a girl is because with women looks tend to matter a lot.. too much, yeah also with guys you see that too but for girls its more of a competitive pvp type of thing. And socially it dictates a lot. Sometimes a group of girls would befriend you only to mislead you and just use you as some sort of object to make fun of or to make themselves feel better about themselves. I've been on that end a lot and when you are around girls like that complimenting another girl is like some sort of attack on them, I compliment a lot of people and I guess I do it too much idk but I remember just hearing an immediate "No this and that is wrong with her face or body" "No not at all she looks like a guy" something like that. But when women can't do that so when it's genuinely a pretty girl and they can't deny it they do character attacks or isolate them by speaking ill about them to others. I never got in those situations because I'm fucking ugly so I guess I couldn't step in the ring, yup. It's a whole fucking weird thing that I have noticed with girls. Guys are shit too I mean they tend to just plainly say it or they just make fun of you openly. I mean everyone is shit really.

No but I feel so fucking ugly I don't even want to look at people, I stopped that or my reflection I try my best to avoid it. I don't even want to dabble into makeup because then I feel like a liar. I mean who has ever been nude and a mf legit just says "I don't like your body, I prefer this and that" Well fuck my bad. My mother has gotten surgeries, she is considered above average and she just plainly lies to my face "you are pretty because I made you" Well bitch Im sorry to break it to you but you are not the same person you were. My mom talks about those things a lot, she prioritizes beauty or femininity really its all that got her what she has considering she used to be a stripper and got with a rich guy but has the entitlement of a dumb bitch who looks like every other bitch yet thinks they are the smartest and prettiest when they walk into a room.

¯\_(•᷄‎ n •́)_/¯? Oh well! I met a guy online I showed him my face YEARS AGO like when I was really young now im 19 and I haven't sent a photo since because I feel shameful, embarrassed I feel that If I do then he would leave me. I want to stop talking to him I feel too ugly. I know that If it has been in person he would've never talked to me. He says he "doesn't" care about things like that or that he remembers what I look like.
Genuinely I just feel like a fucking embarrassment. I feel that I can't continue this relationship because of how I feel. Which is really dumb.

Off Topic Annoying Rant-

I sound fucking stupid I know like im overreacting or something but dude I have just LIKE ITS COMMON FOR ME for people to openly disrespect me. And its happened since elementary and NOW Im out of school and Its just some weird fucked social thing. Have you ever just walked out of the house and a neighbor makes a loud comment, just fucking loud like dude I fucking heard you I know my nose is fucking ugly leave me alone. dont mention the pandemic goddddd the fucking mask bullshit "cAn YoU TakE oFf YouR MaSk" haaa this guy used to legit make fun of me with his group of friends but at once try to "befriend me", I fucking hated that class n those people it was like everything I did was weird so I just stopped showing up and would stay in the bathroom for hours till my last class or something. LMAO jesus christ That school was worse because mentally completely just fucking off its genuinely funny I couldn't stand being home and then I had to go to school and deal with those kind of people.

 

[darksouls]

society is a vile abomination, I am sorry you have to go through this

 

[extremelyugly]

Oh I wouldn't be here if I wasn't. Believe me, it conditions everything. I am basically a zombie because of this. Especially when I realized personality really doesn't make any difference past a certain threshold (in both directions: if you're a very attractive guy, it doesn't matter much, and if you're a very ugly guy, it matters none), and I can't "hide" my face with a beard or something because it's so fucked up that not even that would make up for it.

About the topic of mean comments and looks... I would have to wear a hidden camera with a microphone (or multiple lmao) and record myself going outside, because otherwise people don't believe me, that's how fucked up it is for me. They seem like they never left highschool, literally the same things, it's pathetic really. Technically this is more of the actual reason I'm here, the open and unwarranted disrespect which I cannot do anything about. I took it for 12 years, but it just broke me. I can't anymore man.

 

[Someonewhotypes]

Why not take a chance and show him a new photo?
You say you want to stop talking to him because of this, but why not send a photo and see how he reacts?
If he doesn't talk to you anymore, well, you were considering stopping talking to him in the first place.
If he reacts positively, which I'm sure he will given that he kept in touch with you without needing to see you, then you get reassurance and can continue with peace of mind.

 

[rotthjärta]

Oh I wouldn't be here if I wasn't. Believe me, it conditions everything. I am basically a zombie because of this. Especially when I realized personality really doesn't make any difference past a certain threshold (in both directions: if you're a very attractive guy, it doesn't matter much, and if you're a very ugly guy, it matters none), and I can't "hide" my face with a beard or something because it's so fucked up that not even that would make up for it.

About the topic of mean comments and looks... I would have to wear a hidden camera with a microphone (or multiple lmao) and record myself going outside, because otherwise people don't believe me, that's how fucked up it is for me. They seem like they never left highschool, literally the same things, it's pathetic really. Technically this is more of the actual reason I'm here, the open and unwarranted disrespect which I cannot do anything about. I took it for 12 years, but it just broke me. I can't anymore man.

Genuinely it sounds unbelievable to most, when I tried to talk about it with others they don't believe it or just plainly say some bullshit like "beauty is subjective" "i don't think of you". Beauty is subjective but we can't deny there is a social construct around it all which people judge or value you.

They seem like they never left highschool, literally the same things, it's pathetic really.

I would think yeah people would've gotten over it after highschool yk everyone spoke about the real world or the adult world as if it most adults grow up but yeah no haa I genuinely just fucking hate people. It is pathetic and shallow of them. I think what I hate more is that there isn't anything to do or say back at people who are that way, you sort of just have to stand or sit there awkwardly trying to not even look at them while you hear them say all sorts of things. The funny thing is they can sleep at night forgetting all about it or just you. I don't ever want to be in that position again but people are fucked so. But thanks for replying.

Why not take a chance and show him a new photo?
You say you want to stop talking to him because of this, but why not send a photo and see how he reacts?
If he doesn't talk to you anymore, well, you were considering stopping talking to him in the first place.
If he reacts positively, which I'm sure he will given that he kept in touch with you without needing to see you, then you get reassurance and can continue with peace of mind.

I want to, I have tried to take photos I just get into this thing where I stare it for hours picking it apart. I'm just very nervous of doing so or getting a bad reaction. The sooner I get through with it the better, you are right I should seek to continue with peace of mind rather than continuing this feeling. it only builds up so I have to stop letting it. Thanks for your advice ^^

 

[Misanthrope0000]

I genuinely don't know anymore, I'm the type of woman that is only beautiful online, but in real I've been bullied for my looks since I was a child, even as a grew up, people don't call me ugly but they make comments about how I choose to style my hair, how I make my eyebrows thin, how I'm "ruining" my looks, and mostly other women say it, for me men never really comment on my looks at all, I get called beautiful online but in real life, I'm like glared at, stared at weirdly, bullied in the past but at the end of the day idk.

Maybe it could be because I choose to have a look that is out of my society's norm, like thinner eyebrows and bangs, and that alone make people treat me weirdly, but at the same time people compliment me online, especially foreigners so I have no idea if I'm ugly or not.

 

[hurts2b]

I don't know. And I don't have a social life. I get neither insults nor compliments on my looks. It's the kind of thing that doesn't really cross my mind too often.