Are You More Hopeful That You Will Die Than You Are Hopeful You Will Live?

[timechained]

The more time goes by the more I am realising that I have a greater hope for finding a way to die than I do having hope for wanting to live.

Kind of sad really, but that's reality.

What about you...?

 

[Griever]

I'm pretty sure I have no future and I'm going to die in the next few weeks

 

[BringMeToLife]

I'm hoping to fins the courage I need to ctb. I'm hoping for death.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, same. Because life takes constant effort. You solve one set of problems for more to appear. Weird to call it 'recovery' in a way when it's a series of obstacles. More 'acceptance' I think but, I'm not willing to accept this happily.

Maybe dying feels like one of the biggest obstacles but hopefully, it's just the one. Like facing the boss fight at the start of a game. Bad but, at least you have your energy intact. I don't want to keep slogging through rounds and rounds of 'badies' to still have to fight the boss at the end! With next to no energy left.

The ideal would be to be dead without having to go through dying. Better yet would have been not to have been born to begin with, avoiding life and dying. Still, we have to work with what we're stuck with I suppose. I'm just hoping fear of more life will bunk me over my fear of dying.

 

[Knoc]

I died a long time ago

 

[FuneralCry]

I personally only hope and wish to not exist, I'd just never wish to suffer in this cruel, torturous existence rather all I hope for is the peace of an eternal dreamless sleep where all is finally gone and forgotten about, to me continuing to exist is just prolonging unnecessary suffering in this existence where there is no limit as to how much one can suffer and I'd just always prefer to not exist than suffer so unnecessarily in this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake.

For me non-existence really is the only peace and is all I see as desirable, I just wish for no more cruelty and no more suffering rather I just want this existence to finally be no longer my problem, I'll just always find it so deeply undesirable to be burdened with this existence and I find it the most terrible tragedy how this existence was imposed, the thought of suffering in this existence until old age is just so horrific and unbearable to me.

 

[lynnschronicles]

If I don't get the new link for DMC or another source, I feel trapped. I am too scared of failing an attempt at a different method. I wish that I had ordered before the site went down. Once I get SN, I'll probably kill myself. Maybe not right away or even for a while, but I feel more sure every day that I will