Are you in a relationship? (poll)

[TheGoodGuy]

title ^

 

[sadgirl2002]

Forever Alone

 

[mynameispaige]

Female and probably forever alone as well. Never been in one.

 

[Rachel74]

Female and in a relationship but feel alone x

 

[StillWaiting]

Can't imagine how tiring it is to maintain a relationship

 

[Rachel74]

Can't imagine how tiring it is to maintain a relationship

Extremely tiring as you have someone else's feelings to consider as well as your own. Would be easier to be single and I've tried to end it several times but I can't. I guess I love him

 

[Bathsheba]

Extremely tiring as you have someone else's feelings to consider as well as your own. Would be easier to be single and I've tried to end it several times but I can't. I guess I love him ❤

Same. I hate feeling such a burden to someone and have begged him to go and find someone better. I'm such a nightmare.

 

[EatingRawCocoa]

Why not amend the poll to show those who have never been in an relationship? "Not in a relationship" means fuck all really- that could be the Tuesday between Monday's old boyfriend and Wednesday's new one (which is often the case for females).

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Why not amend the poll to show those who have never been in an relationship? "Not in a relationship" means fuck all really- that could be the Tuesday between Monday's old boyfriend and Wednesday's new one (which is often the case for females).

I completely agree with you but last time I made a poll like this it got taken down and I got a warning for being insensitive so I am not taking any chances this time.

 

[Élégie]

Female, not in a relationship... I think I'm meant to be single... but sometimes it does feel lonely.

 

[Empty Smile]

I would be in one of she was still living.

 

[SinisterKid]

Guess I am in the small minority of men who has a good woman in his life, even though he might not deserve her.

 

[Astral316]

In a relationship? Even butt fugly chicks turn their nose up at me... FML

 

[freya]

for 16 years in a relationship.both mental ill,me bpd an depression and my partner depression and anxiety.its not easy,but somehow we depend on each other...

 

[Xaphous]

lifelong Socially isolated so no chance for that

 

[SJP]

Nope never been in one and i'm Male

 

[Final Escape]

I've had many involvements over the years but because of the bpd issues they never lasted past a few years at most. Sometimes I think about those guys from the past and I'm so embarrassed about how my behavior was with them. Some of them did stuff to undermine the relationship as well but I think it was more me that was the problem and not as much them. I was not the trustworthy, supportive gf that I should have been.

 

[LastFlowers]

Can't imagine how tiring it is to maintain a relationship

Right? I can't even maintain relationships within my own family, nevermind friends or much else.

 

[TowerUpright]

Extremely tiring as you have someone else's feelings to consider as well as your own. Would be easier to be single and I've tried to end it several times but I can't. I guess I love him ❤

I can relate to this 100%. When it's just yourself, it's a lot less complicated. I would have CTBd right after I got my SN, but I have a wife and young kids. I know my life insurance policy will cover them well. But, I can't even be a good husband anymore. Sex drive has been shot for some time (pills don't work, either). I feel so numb, emotionally. Tired, too. I know she's attention starved and deserves much better than what I can give. But love is there...But not the romantical kind.

Part of me feels it's better to CTB, so everyone can get on with their grief earlier. Then, I also think my kids need to be a bit older to handle things better. And, being a selfish asshole, a smart part of me thinks it won't matter, since I won't be around anyway. I won't miss that part of me.

 

[RodgerThat]

Never, because of factors out of my control, but I don't think I would be killing myself if I were desirable to women and in a relationship. I don't think people in relationships understand just how much of an effect some love and validation can have on someone's life and wellbeing.

 

[nothingleft]

If this depression doesn't lift I can't imagine ever seeking out a relationship. I'm barely functional.

 

[IsadoraBeauxdraps]

Alone forever.

 

[drake4871]

You're better off without one lol, idk what to do about mine without breaking her heart

 

[Sargasm]

Married once, one other very serious relationship and a few casual. I'm extremely picky in that I either feel a strong emotional connection or nothing at all. All of my past relationships started as friendships that developed into something more.

Single by choice now that I am determined to CTB, and my heart belongs to someone else even if I can't be with her anymore. I imagine I could probably find someone if I really tried, but I don't want to. I wouldn't be able to invest myself into the relationship since I am not sticking around, and even if I was, it just wouldn't be the same. I found my one, and I had to let go. There's been a couple of random hookups just to feel a little physical intimacy, but I regretted them later because there wasn't any connection.

Besides, I am not in a mental place where I would be good for anyone, and there is no reason to believe that will ever change.

 

[blanketyblk]

Single. / widower really. starting to see another women recently. but not a relationship yet.

 

[Sargasm]

Single. / widower really. starting to see another women recently. but not a relationship yet.

I truly hope she makes you happy. You deserve it.

 

[blanketyblk]

I truly hope she makes you happy. You deserve it.

Thanks it's early days. she has alot of hang ups as well. she is a MtF post op women. it's a bit of a learning curve for me. but we are working things out. but not sure if i will be doing more harm to her or not if i stick around.

 

[Sargasm]

Thanks it's early days. she has alot of hang ups as well. she is a MtF post op women. it's a bit of a learning curve for me. but we are working things out. but not sure if i will be doing more harm to her or not if i stick around.

Hey, all friendships and relationships have learning curves unique to the individuals. It takes trust, patience, respect, compassion, and communication. And like a billion other things. But it's worth it.

I obviously don't know exactly what the two of you have talked about (The spy satellite is on the fritz again), but if she knows about your past, the love you had before, the loss, pain, and heartbreak you've endured, I'm sure an understanding and caring person wouldn't fault you for wanting to take things slow and maybe stay casual so that intimacy can build from friendship. That always worked best for me.

That way, if you choose to stick around, you have laid the groundwork for an amazing relationship to develop from. If you choose not to stick around, at least there wasn't a (possibly, hypothetical) developing relationship that she began to invest into and depend upon.

Also it is +/-99% honest. We should always strive for 100% honesty, but I certainly wouldn't fault you for not mentioning your ambivalence about staying alive. I believe the dating handbook recommends you save that for the third date. Or maybe that's sex. I always get the two mixed up.

I know, I am playing armchair couples counselor, but I hoped to pass on some good advice that I had to learn for myself. In any case, coming from some random jackass on the internet, I am proud of you for opening yourself to potential love again. That takes no small amount of courage.

I hope the descriptions I used are respectful and don't diminish your experiences in any way. I just didn't want to bluntly shorten anything to ''what you've been through''. I have a bit more respect for you than that.

EDIT: Rephrased some things because I was making it sound like the two of you were already starting a relationship. Like you said, early days.

 

[blanketyblk]

Hey, all friendships and relationships have learning curves unique to the individuals. It takes trust, patience, respect, compassion, and communication. And like a billion other things. But it's worth it.
<SNIP>

my gosh, it's like you pull these words directly out of my brain. these are the thoughts i have been going over with this new person and haven't been able to put them into words.

She knows a lot of my past. in fact she read a bit of the post that i put onto this site. minute the CTB'ing parts, so she doesn't know about my thoughts in CTB'ing and not something that i would be conformable sharing with her for awhile. simply because I'm not sure how she would react and i don't want to be locked up. so at the moment there is some hiding going on. but i am also sure i don't know her whole past either.. as i said it's early days. and your right we should be saving this conversation for the third date/ fourth date.

i do thank you very very much for your comments though.

Hugs

 

[Sargasm]

my gosh, it's like you pull these words directly out of my brain. these are the thoughts i have been going over with this new person and haven't been able to put them into words.

She knows a lot of my past. in fact she read a bit of the post that i put onto this site. minute the CTB'ing parts, so she doesn't know about my thoughts in CTB'ing and not something that i would be conformable sharing with her for awhile. simply because I'm not sure how she would react and i don't want to be locked up. so at the moment there is some hiding going on. but i am also sure i don't know her whole past either.. as i said it's early days. and your right we should be saving this conversation for the third date/ fourth date.

i do thank you very very much for your comments though.

Hugs

You are certainly welcome, and if you ever need anything else completely over-analyzed, that is basically my superpower.