Are you actively planning to die or just ruminating?

[Lost Magic]

Just what it says in the title. Or do you think you will have to wait till old age, an illness or an accident to happen?

 

[wellherewego]

I'm getting my method ready so when I can't take it anymore I have a way out

 

[Lost Magic]

I'm getting my method ready so when I can't take it anymore I have a way out

I feel the same and things are starting to feel more desperate. I'm glad I have a decent way out now.

 

[needforvoid_]

Depression's hitting me strong, so more ruminating than being active. It's as if the killing part's gonna do itself lol. But my desired date is getting closer, hope I can kick myself in the ass.

 

[ShepherdOfMyself]

I have moments where I want to live a bit longer, but reading anything in the news these days is enough to change that quickly. Right now, my girlfriend and I are planning to take the SN in October. I just hope I have the courage to go through with it then.

 

[Enoughnow]

Actively planning I just struggle everything I tried so far doesn't work because I vomit so much all off whatever I took comes up I had one where I was deaf for three days but it still didn't finish me off and was brutal I need a gun really

 

[TTD]

Planning so it really would be nice to at least have the stuff at hand for when it's time to check out/ctb. Circumstances would need to change quite drastically to do not it but that would really only just delay the inevitable down the line.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case, the access to methods is very limited, ctb is very difficult for me and I only have awful methods to choose from. If I try to read about hanging, it gives me anxiety and I start to imagine how it can fail, so even know I want ctb more than anything, for me it is mostly just wishing that I was not here and trying to distract myself until I fall asleep.

It sounds so horrifying suffering until old age. I will certainly find a way to leave before then, no matter what. I just wish that suicide was easier. It is depressing that it has to be this way but I guess the suffering will end someday no matter what. Life is very temporary and meaningless after all.

 

[Fengshuiside]

Planning to through with it on weekend 2 weeks from now if all goes according to my plan. I really can't afford staying alive any futher.

 

[Idontmatter]

I'm actively planning. I have everything that I need pretty much. I just have to decide when and then I can book the hotel.

 

[rationaltake]

I'm already old but people often live 20 or 30 more years than I have.

So I need to go.

I have what I need but would prefer another method.

I need to go.

 

[Talvikki]

I will definitely ctb this month. Life has become unbearable for me.
I hate this world so much, I don't want any part of it.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm stuck

 

[LookingforAnswers]

The latter

 

[unimaginativelamp]

I don't know. I think a little of both.

 

[outrider567]

Like I said before, I'd be gone already if it wasn't for my brothers terminal cancer diagnosis---Nitrogen tank and the whole set up is patiently waiting for me, definitely be some time this year

 

[ineedtoctb]

I have the methods and materials but I'm stuck trying to hang on to false hope

 

[NotSureToEndure]

I have the methods and materials but I'm stuck trying to hang on to false hope

Yeah I hear ya.

 

[Achlys]

Both. As of now, I am focusing on tying up loose ends and preparing everything. I've set an approximate date of 2-3 years from now at the very latest, but I may end things sooner once everything is in place.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Not ruminating here. I'm getting my shit together, working on my method, tying up loose ends, things like that. When I'm ready, I'll know. It won't be that long, really. My depression hasn't changed. My reasons for going can't change anymore because of my life's circumstances. There's nothing keeping me here. I don't want to be here. I want out before something serious happens to my in the way of health and have no one to help me, and possibly keeps me from going out on my own terms, Honestly, there is absolutely nothing good that could happen in my life that could change my mind. I won't let it.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Actively and waiting.

What use am I being alive? I am not willing to contribute to society, nor am I able to motivate myself to.

 

[stoicseal]

I have my method, just waiting for something to inevitably push me off the edge.

 

[dissociatedmess]

I guess just ruminating. I feel like there's too much keeping me trapped here right now.
Wondering what it's gonna take to officially break me.

 

[NobodyKnowsMe]

I'm more actively planning than at any other time in my life, but it is a slow progression still. My depression has gotten so much worse in the last 5 years and I can't really see it getting any better. My bigggest issue will be overcoming the guilt that I feel about it.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

Waiting for July for N but I'm so scared I won't ever do it and end up diseased and homeless and even more isolated I really need to overcome the fear quick because times been up with no social status and I'm numb after my assaults

 

[sandalphon]

No. Just here in this forum for information, just in case I need it. I'm a huge right to die advocate even if I'm not suicidal.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm definitely planning to die this year, maybe around fall or winter depending on if I care enough about Pokémon Scarlet/Violet or Sonic Frontiers. I've sadly been procrastinating on my suicide notes though.

 

[markimobzzdeasui]

I am absolutely sure about my decision. Just need to have courage and finally pick a date. Although the way it is getting postponed months after months,it is making me doubt whether something is there inside me that is holding me back in some way. I wish I had better control and awareness about me in probably my last times.

 

[fillthevoid]

Gonna see how things pan out for now. Will know by the end of the year one way or another definitely as lots of things are changing this year in my life, so maybe things will be better, maybe worse. Meanwhile I will prepare best I can, tidy my affairs up a little, research and prepare a suitable method/plan I'm happy with.

If the situation changes though and I feel ready sooner, than I will absolutely go with that.

If things drastically somehow turn around for me then I will be very happy to continue living for the time being.

For now it just very very very reassuring and nice to know that I have a way out should things get that bad again. It is like a weight lifted just to know I do have that option and it's upto me. It's actually helping with my mental health day-to-day, just by knowing it's there and it's under my control and I can press the 'quit game' button whenever I want. Even if I were to miraculously have the best life ever and never end up needing to CTB I would probably always still want to know I have the option. It's very comforting.

 

[ornitier199]

Neither. I have what I need. Just time to execute it.