Are there any sources for local to NYC groups that have guides to self deliverance

[urgent]

I don't know how to find out if there are groups, individuals, doctors, anyone who operate quietly or underground, whatever they call it who are advocates for rights to die with dignity and medical assistance in dying and can provide advice or a guide, like some big organizations do but are able to expedite for someone looking for relief from lupus, chronic pain, another autoimmune disease, spinal, to many issues to list here, but need help that can't be accessed without help. I don't know if anyone can understand my huge, run on sentences plead when I'm in to much pain to use proper punctuation. Sorry! Desperate for a minute without agony.