TheLastK
You can just call me K
- Aug 6, 2022
- 109
Sorry if this is inappropriate, I just wanted to get things off of my chest.
A year ago I was diagnosed with a lifelong illness (would rather not say which). I see all of my former friends continue to be fine and do well without me. I've never had a long term relationship and I feel pathetic because of that (I'm not an incel though and hate that mindset). Everyone forgets just how sick I am mentally and I'm always the one doing the listening, rarely does anyone ask how I am feeling.
All of these put together are why I want to ctb. I've decided to spend the rest of this year preparing and saying goodbye. The only thing that would stop me is to get into a meaningful romantic relationship before then, but I'm not holding out hope. I can't bear the loneliness anymore, I know I'm just going to get sicker as I become older, and people are going to just continue to abandon me regardless of what I do. I just hate being me.
Does all of this sound valid to you? Am I crazy for thinking this?
inb4 the perfect person is waiting, you just need to get out there more etc., I have tried but there must just be something disgusting about who I am or something. I've always felt second class to everyone else and genuinely think the world at large is better off without who I am as I am. I want there to be hope, I really do, but I am not seeing it.
A year ago I was diagnosed with a lifelong illness (would rather not say which). I see all of my former friends continue to be fine and do well without me. I've never had a long term relationship and I feel pathetic because of that (I'm not an incel though and hate that mindset). Everyone forgets just how sick I am mentally and I'm always the one doing the listening, rarely does anyone ask how I am feeling.
All of these put together are why I want to ctb. I've decided to spend the rest of this year preparing and saying goodbye. The only thing that would stop me is to get into a meaningful romantic relationship before then, but I'm not holding out hope. I can't bear the loneliness anymore, I know I'm just going to get sicker as I become older, and people are going to just continue to abandon me regardless of what I do. I just hate being me.
Does all of this sound valid to you? Am I crazy for thinking this?
inb4 the perfect person is waiting, you just need to get out there more etc., I have tried but there must just be something disgusting about who I am or something. I've always felt second class to everyone else and genuinely think the world at large is better off without who I am as I am. I want there to be hope, I really do, but I am not seeing it.
