Anyone here have partners?

[MichiyoCornell]

Anyone else here in a relationship? It can be a blessing but also a weight down to this shit world we are stuck in. I have a boyfriend but I know deep down I am too suicidal to really love anyone properly. And to the pollyannas on here who say that love is always possible no matter what you're going through, I'd strongly disagree. Unfortunately being in a relationship is just making me feel more trapped in a world I don't want to be in.

 

[Egddios]

I have a partner as well; he has PTSD, and fortunately I'm able to talk with and confide in him without fear of him calling the police or taking me to a hospital. He "gets it", to an extent. This past week I told him I was planning to end my life and was likely going to CTB within the next couple of weeks. He wasn't cheering me on or urging me to end my life, he was deeply sad and he told me he wishes there was something he could do. When he's struggling, I wish there was something I could do for him, too.

 

[sadgirl2002]

I wish... but more than that, I wish I just had a real friend who I can speak to and meet regularly in real life.

I have a partner as well; he has PTSD, and fortunately I'm able to talk with and confide in him without fear of him calling the police or taking me to a hospital. He "gets it", to an extent. This past week I told him I was planning to end my life and was likely going to CTB within the next couple of weeks. He wasn't cheering me on or urging me to end my life, he was deeply sad and he told me he wishes there was something he could do. When he's struggling, I wish there was something I could do for him, too.

That's a nice thing, how he understands you and doesn't stop or encourage you to end your life. I hope you two can somehow help each other.

 

[morpheus451]

Yes. Reason why im in such deep a rut is because I cannot be in the same country as she lives. I would need to get a job for that but I wast fired from the last one due to depression (those assholes) and moved "home" so that my parents can care for me.

Otherwhise: 2 degrees, no job, no hope. Learned the hard way that performance is irrelevant, only who you daddy is or to have money.

 

[burnedCookie]

I had a partner and these are the only years I've ever loved life. But she was The One, you know that person you have a one in a billion chance of meeting. We were so much alike that it was almost scary sometimes. We lived for years in an isolated little house almost never seeing anyone, we didn't need anything else and that was happiness.
Having a partner is possible even for fucked up people but you have to find the right one, someone who knows and accepts you as you are, someone with who you don't have to pretend or play a role, someone who doesn't try to change you to fit his/her desires. If you feel trapped then something is wrong.

 

[Bathsheba]

I have a husband and the pain I cause him through my mood swings, self harm and general irrationality makes me feel sick everyday. I've begged him to leave me and go and find someone 'normal' but he says he loves me. But I know he could be happy eventually with someone else if I was no longer around. I feel sorry for anyone in a relationship with someone like me..

 

[Rachel74]

I have a partner who is lovely but extremely narrow minded when it comes to my bipolar and my desire to want to kill myself.
He's put up with so much and he's still here. Bless him

I have a partner who is lovely but extremely narrow minded when it comes to my bipolar and my desire to want to kill myself.
He's put up with so much and he's still here. Bless him ❤

I do my best to keep him at arms length but he's the kind of guy who loves me for being me, yes that's the bipolar me.

 

[EatingRawCocoa]

I've never had anyone. I have no one. Truthfully, I think it's so much easier for the type of women who posts on this type of forum to get interest from the opposite sex than it is for the type of man. Not that it matters, ultimately. It's the curse of being a man. I have lived my entire life up to now with zero physical affection - I am on my way to 40, why am I still doing this IDK? - and I sometimes find myself in fits of tears thinking of all that I've missed out on and which is always to be unobtainable to me. All I've ever wanted is to be hugged, and cuddled and comforted (and in turn to offer that) but that is not something ugly dudes get to experience. I once had so much love to share (urgh) but no one wants to see it. I don't want to die having never known that, but I have to come to terms with the fact that I will soon do so. It's my greatest challenge; to accept that life has now defeated me and I only demean myself by continuing this madness. Please don't think I'm trivializing anyone's circumstances, but if you are female, be at least a little grateful for that little one up on the universe the mating and dating rules give you,, because when it comes to relationships, dating, sex, life is far harder for broken men than it is for broken women. Men who are ugly, and broken, as I am, are literally on a par with shit being hosed down the drain - I pray to the universe for a caring woman to share a little of life with and the universe only offers me rope and regret.

I just want to cuddle and cry and tell my "story" but no one wants to hear it.