imaloserbaby
Karolina
- Jan 28, 2021
- 25
Pretty self-explanatory in the title! I've searched the forum for "misophonia" and have seen a couple of people mention they have it, but I didn't want to just bombard people I don't know personally with messages. While I've had depression/anxiety for decades, misophonia is what is causing my urges to CTB. While a couple of people (and doctors) try to be empathetic, they just don't understand how debilitating it can be. I had it as a kid but was mostly under control. Then an antidepressant gave me permanent severe tinnitus in both ears 2 years ago. When that happened I started obsessing about curing my tinnitus, listening out for every little sound, and I think that's brought what used to be mild misophonia back into focus with a vengeance. I've gotten a lot better with my tinnitus ironically...still there 24/7 but I have accepted it (barely).
Now this absolute rage that I get from misophonic cues is frightening. I have never physically hurt anyone in my life but when the triggers hit I turn into a different person; punching walls, screaming, cutting, drugging myself up. I don't have the more well known issues with people eating etc, I specifically struggle with things like lawnmowers, loud bass music outside my house, construction, kids screaming etc. I had to move out of my house because of these reasons, lost my job, most of my friends. And nowhere else to go other than a deserted private island which I can TOTALLY afford
even then I'd probably rage at the seagulls or something. It's a condition that makes you feel so very trapped.
So basically, even though I've talked to a friend who has empathy and doctors who are trying their best, I don't actually know anyone who has it and will really understand what I mean and not just say "have you tried headphones?"
If you're struggling with something similar and you'd like someone to vent with, please PM me! Maybe we can help each other out.
Now this absolute rage that I get from misophonic cues is frightening. I have never physically hurt anyone in my life but when the triggers hit I turn into a different person; punching walls, screaming, cutting, drugging myself up. I don't have the more well known issues with people eating etc, I specifically struggle with things like lawnmowers, loud bass music outside my house, construction, kids screaming etc. I had to move out of my house because of these reasons, lost my job, most of my friends. And nowhere else to go other than a deserted private island which I can TOTALLY afford
even then I'd probably rage at the seagulls or something. It's a condition that makes you feel so very trapped.So basically, even though I've talked to a friend who has empathy and doctors who are trying their best, I don't actually know anyone who has it and will really understand what I mean and not just say "have you tried headphones?"
If you're struggling with something similar and you'd like someone to vent with, please PM me! Maybe we can help each other out.
