Yeah, starting from the age of 7 I occasionally had passive thoughts about dying because of abuse and neglect at home. But I coped well, I still had lots going for me, still worked hard and was hopeful for a better future with better people, didn't work out. I should've gone a few years ago after another sexual assault, I impulsively attempted to ctb with paracetamol because I was clueless about methods at the time, but I just threw up and slept it off.